Chains of Habit~ BJA

6. The Truth Hurts

Billie's POV

Rage. I feel so much rage. I want to make Seth feel so much pain. But I know I can't do anything. And it makes it all worse.

But what I'm feeling can't be anything compared to Addison. She looks as if she's one touch from falling into pieces right in front of me. Covered in bruises and cuts with so much pain tucked behind her eyes.

As she collapses into my arms I immediately pull her closer, almost onto my lap.

"Shh, Addison, he's gone now. You're okay," I try to console her, but let's be real. It's not okay right now.

She tries to stutter out words between her sobs, but nothing clear comes out. We sit there for a while, I rub her back as she clutches my shirt and cries.

After a while, her sobs quiet down and I look down to see that she's fallen asleep. I admire her beauty through all her obvious pain. I'm glad she's getting some rest now.

Before I know it I'm drifting off too. I'm only awoken by Addison moving my arm to sit up.

"How long were we out?" She asks me, her voice groggy from both crying earlier and from just waking up.

I look at the time. "About an hour," I tell her. She runs a hand through her messed up hair, still somehow looking beautiful.

Addison's POV

I look down at my torn clothes, disgusted. There goes a comfy shirt. "I'm going to go change," I tell Billie. He nods and I head to my bedroom.

I can barely look at myself. Looking in my mirror makes me want to cry. I feel so disgusting. I pull off my clothes, silently crying as I remember what I've gone through.

He raped me. I was asleep and he raped me. How does one ever come to terms with that? What am I going to tell the man sitting in my living room who is worried sick about me for some godforsaken reason?

Having put on some random shirt and pants from my laundry bin, I wipe my eyes and head back out to where Billie was sitting. At first I'm alarmed by his lack of presence, but once I hear a slam from the kitchen I realize what's going on.

I peep my head around the corner to a box of cereal dumped on the floor and a guilty looking Billie. "I was... hungry?"

I smile a tiny bit. "It's alright," I tell him and we clean it up together. Once we're done, he takes the remaining cereal into the living room with him. We're both seated in the couch again.

He just looks at me with pity. I hate it.

"What happened Addison?"

A million things run through my head. Where do I begin? "I don't know," I tell him, my head in my hands. "I honest to god don't know. He's never gone this far before." There's tears in my eyes again. I must be running out at this point. "I just don't understand, I never thought... I never thought he would use me like this..."

I look up and see the realization dawn on Billie's face. He knows what happened. His green eyes tell the story of what's going on in his head. Anger. Sadness. Anger again. Frustration. He finally settles on sympathy.

"Addison, he..." he begins, but I just nod before I'm engulfed in a hug.

"I was asleep, and... and he just-"

"Shh, Adds, it's over now, it's just us," Billie tells me. I admire his effort, it can't be easy to console someone after this bombshell.

"Can we go back to the cafe?" I ask. "I feel safer there."

He looks surprised. "You do?"

"S-Seth's never been there," I explain.

"Let's go." He picks me up bridal style, earning a small yelp of surprise from me. I lean into his chest, taking in his scent. Same scent as the cafe, coffee and cigarettes. Billie's has a bit of weed added in.

I clutch his shirt as he uses one hand to open the door of the cafe once we arrive. I kept my eyes shut the whole way, not really wanting to see people staring at me.

"I was just about to lock up, everything okay?" I hear Frank ask. I open my eyes to my friend looking down at me with concern. Billie sets me down so I can give him a hug, which I do, very tightly. Frank hugs back and rubs my back in understanding. Even though he doesn't know the full story, he doesn't need to.

"You're so strong Adds," he whispers in my ear. "You'll get through it." I pull back and nod at him.

"I've got to get going my friends," Frank tells us. "Ring if you need me, alright?" He says, eyeing me. I give him a half smile and he's on his way out.

I turn around and look at the empty cafe, some chairs stacked up on top of the tables. I slowly make my way over to my favorite table and take a seat, staring up at the stage.

This stage. It all started here about a year ago. Things were just starting to go downhill with Seth when I discovered Blue's. I remember the first song I played up on that stage, Mr. Brightside by The Killers. Frank coming over to me after my performance, the beginning of our friendship. A friendship that would change my outlook on life.

I must be zoned out for a while, because I'm startled by Billie Joe.

"What are you thinking about?" He asks.

"My first time coming here. Playing on that stage. This place changed my life," I tell him.

"Why's that?"

"It gave me a sanctuary. A place to do what I love surrounded by people that I've come to love. I may be in a pretty bad spot now, but I'd be worse without it."

"I never thought opening a little cafe would have such a big impact," Billie admits. "Even for just one person. It's a cultural thing for the city, sure, but individual people is what I care about more. I wanted to create a safe space. I'm glad that I've done that for you."

I get up and sit on the edge of the stage. "You certainly have Billie. You certainly have."

He comes and sits next to me, pushing my face towards him so that we're making eye contact. I'll never get over the beauty of his eyes.

"I named this place after my first guitar, y'know," he tells me.

I smile. "Blue?"

"Yeah. I still play her. She's covered in stickers, has my initials on her. She's unique. Been through a lot with me," Billie explains.

"My guitar is the only one I've ever owned. It's not very fancy. But it's mine, and that's something. I don't play for many people. Seth's barely heard me play." I pause for a second, trying to keep my thoughts on track as Seth is brought up. "We've been together for 2 years, and he doesn't really know the musical side of me. I guess I knew he would be brutally honest and probably insult me. Even if it's true, I didn't want to hear it coming from him. Because he's always right."

"Addison, that's not true. If he can't see your talent then he's fucking blind. I guess I'm glad he doesn't see you perform, because it would mean you would stop. I never want you to stop," Billie tells me, his eye contact intense.

I stare back in awe. "Neither do I."