c h a p t e r. 26

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"My whole desire is to burn myself away." -Hafez

chapter 26

Castor had gone back to his house for the day to talk with his twin about whatever he's going to talk to Circe about, so Jazz decided that he'd be going up to Dela's dorm to bother the shit out of her.

Only she wasn't there so the surprise definitely didn't work but thankfully Nyx's and Damien's apartment was close so he hopped onto his motorcycle again and went there, his oldest sister scowling at him but happy to let him in (her dark blue song couldn't lie to him, even if her face could).

Now he was sitting across from her, both of them eating some oranges that were now unpeeled and resting between them, hot chocolate in their hands and talking about Jazz's relationship.

Nyx, besides Viv, is the only person to know that details-- the horrible, heartbreaking details-- of everything that Keres did to him. Well, the stuff he knows anyway. There's parts of it that he knows he's blocking out, that he knows he never wants to remember either.

He trusted her because, unlike his other sisters, she understood what he feels like to be hollowed out and isolated from everyone around her.

He didn't like that she's felt like that before, but there was a certain comfort to knowing that even through all the darkness, there is someone sitting next to you, able to reach out and understand that even if there's no light at all, that his eyes were aching and even if it felt cold, his skin felt too warm and too tight to hold all his emotions inside of it.

It was something that Eris and Dela, for all their emotional maturity and kindness, didn't and would never be able to get.

Mental illness just hit him and Nyx harder than their twins'.

Which was okay, Jazz would rather feel like that than his sisters.

Nyx sat back in her chair, swirling her drink slightly as she looked at him with matching mint eyes-- she looked so much like their Goddess Mama sometimes, more than Eris or Dela ever did, that he could swear he saw the same anger in her eyes that she had.

His mother was a gentle woman, but she was fierce and protective.

Between her and his papa, she was the one people should truly be scared of. And Nyx? People should be shared of Nyx, too. Both of them had no mercy when it came towards people hurting their loved ones.

"So, little J," She began. "Tell me about your celestial."

Startled, Jazz looked at her with wide eyes, "How d-did you know I called him that?"

"Jazz," Nyx deadpanned, rolling her eyes. "Papa has his goddess, I have my angel, Eris has her deity or heaven or whatever, and Dela has her immortal or divinity. All of us have a godlike partner-- who we believe is ethereal, it's no surprise that my celestial guess was spot on."

"That's... fair," Jazz wrinkled his nose. "And he's simply amazing, Blaine." It was what him and the rest of his family called her-- it being her middle name and their parent's ship name with her being the oldest and all that. "He's-- he's really respectful. Grumpy. Kind. Castor is always observing things, and he's really smart too. He's at the University for Culinary but he's not only talented in cooking; he's good at football, he knows a shit ton of weird facts, and he likes reading, too. I know he's my butterfly, and I know we have a really big connection not just emotionally but physically too, but it feels surreal sometimes, y'know? Like, this is my life now."

"Yeah I know," Nyx smiled slightly, mint eyes twinkling with the happiness she liked to keep hidden. "When I first started to admit my feelings for Damian, when I actually was like, holy fuck, I love this dude, we got into a bad fight."

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