c h a p t e r. 12

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"There is an awkward silence that overcomes you when you cross paths with the person that kisses your heart the second that you meet them. It balances on the edge of unknown but always desired." -Carl Henegan

chapter 12

Opening the door not even a minute later and slightly out of breath from how fast he got his sweatshirt on and his music ready, he sees Cas frozen in place, hands still raised in a 'I don't have weapons' way, and hesitatingly walks over to him.

Since his music was so loud, trying to drown out the chaos that his own song has created around him and the thoughts his mind snarled out-- you let him get hurt!-- he doesn't quite hear rather than see Cas say something.

Raising his eyes from where he had been subconsciously looking at the celestial's hands, he sees the cut on his cheek, swollen red and leaking. He hopes he doesn't flinch but he's not sure at the moment that he's in complete control of his body.

"I, um, I c-can't hear you right now?" Jazz slowly taps his earbud. "Sorry, I-- sorry." He glances back at Axel. "Give me a s-second."

Like that, he quickly escapes into the living room, going to the one person--besides his papa-- he can always trust to help him in situations like this: Nyx.

The musician pokes his sleeping sister awake, her glare from being woken up changing into concern as she sees his face.

Her dark blue shifts, turning a deep navy protectiveness and she sits up, Damien's arm falling loosely over her hips as she swings her legs over the bed. Minty eyes take in his earbuds and the way he's clutching at his phone then narrow.

What happened? She signed, hands tight with worry.

"Cas." Jazz says, shrugging, doing the sign for fighting. "Axel."

"You okay?"

"Fine." He nods, mind screaming, liar, liar, LIAR, LIAR, LIAR-LIARLIARLIAR-- "Can you t-take, take... ta-take c-care of Axel? I'm-- Cas. Bleeding."

She nods but her hands are fast to ask, What color are you right now?

Black, ebony, a Raven's caw in a dark forest, owl's eyes at midnight. Dark, ruination. Fear. He's the color of fear.

He doesn't want to be scared of Cas.

He... isn't.

He just doesn't react well to violence or anger or loved ones being hurt.

He's not scared of the God he worshipped.

"I'm fine." He repeats, offering his skeptical sister a finger boop before turning on his heel as he goes back to the hallway, a pillow he stole from the back of Eris' couch and expecting the celestial to be there but he wasn't.

A harsh feeling tore through his chest then, and he's not sure what it is.

Putting the pillow under Axel's head and trying not to flinch at his bloody nose as he turned the stupid D'Silvetta's head to the side so he wouldn't choke, Jazz quickly moved on and checked his room.

Mint walls, a fern in the corner, a forest green dresser and a deep viridian giant teddy bear by the chest next to the bed. But no green-hued celestial. No Cas or basil or soothing song.

He doesn't look at Nyx and Axel from where she's shaking her best friend awake as he passes them. He knocks on Cas' door, three harsh ones that make his knuckles hurt and swirl towards him like mulberry bursts.

Atlas is the one who opens the door.

Jazz knows he doesn't know sign language, knows that Cas' brother can't hear him, but he can't take out the earbuds. He can't hear everything going on around him. He sees enough. He feels enough. It would be too much.

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