I absentmindedly pulled the sleeves of my sweater down as I brushed past crowds of students on my way out of the school doors. I ignored the strange looks I was getting from people who were wondering why I was wearing a sweater in May, when it was at least 90 degrees outside. 'Just keep your head down' I reminded myself. 'Just think about what you have planned for tonight.' The closer I got to the edge of the campus, the more my wrists began to itch. The more i wished to be locked away in my room, away from anyone and everyone. I broke into a fast walk, and began to slowly increase my speed to get home when I ran into someone, my books flying everywhere, as well as theirs.
"I-I'm so sorry I don't know what I was thinking I ju-" I was cut off by a deep voice.
"It's ok, its fine I swear. Louis is it?"
I finally looked up at the person the unidentified voice was emitting from. I was met with shocking green eyes, and a head of unruly curls.
"Ye-yea, but how did yo-" again i was cut off.
"Ive seen you around school. We have like, 4 classes together, right?"
I must have had a dumb look on my face as I racked my brain trying to connect this face with anything in my life while I scooped up my fallen books . I was silent for a minute before it had clicked.
"Oh, um yea I remember. You're Harry right?"
"That's me." He flashed me a charming smile, but I brushed it off quickly.
"Well sorry for running into you, but I really think I should be going now, you know?" I urged, hinting at my uncomfortable situation. And wanting nothing more than to be away from here.
"Oh, of course. I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Not likely...." I muttered under my breath. I glanced at his confused expression for only a second before I took off running towards my house.
++++++
As I got home, I couldn't ignore the shaken feeling I had lingering around my stomach. Passing it off as adrenaline from my recent sprint,and my indecent need to claw at my arms, I quietly scurried upstairs before anyone noticed that I had gotten here. Sadly I was unsuccessful in my attempts, as my stepfather came strolling out of the kitchen, sandwich in hand, ready to strike up a conversation.
"Ah Louis, how was your day at school?" he questioned, pretending to have an interest in my life, as my mom was sitting in the other room, and could probably hear everything that was happening.
"Fine." Was all I replied before disappearing into my room. I knew that I was being a little rude, but I honestly could not be bothered by small talk with someone who couldn't care less whether I had even come home that day or not. All I had in mind was the initial plan that I had been concocting for a few months. I wasn't going to let anyone stop me now. I threw my books lazily to my desk before slipping out of my shoes and walking towards the bathroom. This was it. This is what I wanted, right? No turning back now. It's ok. No one likes you anyway. You'll actually be doing everyone a favor, ok? I breathed out heavily and began rummaging through a drawer for my one prized possession. I found it and lifted it up to the light. I could see my reflection in its shiny surface. There was still some blood laced lightly on the edges. I sighed in defeat before bringing the razor down to my wrist and ghosting it along in a vertical line over the many past scars. This will do it wont it? I dragged it down vertically against my skin and shrieked as blood began to ooze out of the fresh cut. I felt a little dizzy, but kept going. Soon enough, I was barely holding conciousness, but I stumbled out of the bathroom, blood rolling steadily down my arms, and tripped back to my room. I fell onto my bed and was about to close my eyes for the last time, but something caught my attention. On my bedside table, there was a picture of my best friend, Liam. My heart broke, because if I did this I would never get to see him again. No more sleepovers. No more talking about the endless opportunities awaiting us in the future. What we were going to be. Where we going to go. All of these things that would stop having any meaning if I did this now. I let out a strangled scream. And tried desperately to get out of my bed. This isn't what I want. THIS ISN'T WHAT I WANT. I DON'T WANT TO DIE YET. I was fighting to stay awake, but I sat up and pulled myself out if my bed. I blindly trudged to the staircase, hoping to catch someone's attention to help me, but before I could yell, I passed out on the stairs.
