My eyes shot open suddenly, and air rushed into my lungs. My throat was dry and my mouth was like cotton. I needed water so badly, but couldn't speak to inform anyone. My vision was slowly adjusting, and once it was fully gained, I peered hesitantly around the dull hospital. What happened? Why am I here? I lifted up my arm weakly to run my fingers through my hair, but froze when I saw the bandages wrapped securely around my bruised wrists. The previous events slowly began to flood back into my memory. Oh god. What have I done?
"Hello?" I coughed hoarsely, "Is anyone here? Mom?"
I heard shuffling outside of the door, and it was opened to reveal my mom's worried face. Her look soon turned into one of dissappointment though, as she stared quietly at my wrists.
"How could you?" She whispered. "W-why would you think this was okay?!?!?"
"Mo-mom, please I-"
"No! Louis, do you know how scared we were?"
Despite my session of wallowing in my own world of sorrow, I let out a scratchy laugh. My stepdad didn't care whether I was ok or not. He's obviously not here right now is he?
"I love how you say 'we' as if he even gave to shits about me!" I spat.
"Louis we both love you very muc-" she tried, but I was quick to interrupt.
"Bullshit." I snapped again, words laced with venom. She quickly regained her ground.
"Louis Tomlinson you will not forget that you are speaking to your mother! Don't use that tone with me! And to think, I brought you into this world but all you are giving me in return is you trying to take yourself out of it!"
"Because I'm tired of all of you!" I screamed. Then after a few painstaking minutes, I let out a much needed sob.
"Why can't I just have a normal life?" I cried. Here I was again practically swimming in self-pity. My mom opened her mouth to say something, but was cut short by a knock on the door.
"Hello, I'm Dr. Stonewall. Louis, how are you feeling?" The doctor asked, voice full of fake sympathy.
"Just peachy." I squeaked, squeezing my eyes shut tightly.
"Well it seems that you are doing much better so you can sign some papers at the front desk, and you are free to leave."
My mother gave me a passing glance before standing up and exiting the room with the doctor. After I was sure that they were gone, I got out of bed and pulled a change of clothes my mom had brought over my head. Once I was decently clothed, I slumped down on the edge of the hospital bed.
"I've really gone and done it this time haven't I?" I asked myself aloud, sniffling loudly. Why am I such an idiot?
