till death...

chapter forteen

Harry's POV

I haven't left my room in 7 days. I've never felt this way. I don't know why my heart aches so fucking much. I've only known Louis for 2 months and we didn't even establish that we were dating. I'm letting a guy who I've known for 2 months destroy me and there's nothing I can do about it.

I've read every text and listened to every voicemail. I miss him. I want to get up and go to his room and just hold him and never let go. But I won't, besides he's probably still with that ass munch, James.

"Harry? You awake." Lisa has been more than helpful. She brought be every meal, meds, and anything else I asked for.

"Yeah." I mumble facing away from the door and towards the large windows.

"I brought you some pancakes. I even asked them to add whipped cream, I know you like that." She smiles, I can hear it in her voice.

"Thanks." I pull the blanket up closer to face.

She sighs and sets the tray of food on my side table. I feel the bed sink as she sits down on the edge and places her hand on my side.

"He's sorry. I know he is and so do you. I promise that you're gonna regret not reaching out to him. He's trying and you just keep pushing him away." I'm silent. "Are you sure you really want him back in your life?"

I know she didn't just imply that I don't want Louis in my life.

I turn my body quickly. I'm now looking straight at her.

"What? Obviously I want him in my life. Are you serious?"

She doesn't look offended like I thought she would.

"I mean you have laid in bed for a week without even trying to hear his side of the story."

"Fine. I'll go see him. Happy?" I paste a sarcastic smile on my face. Which is followed by a very proud and accomplished looking smile from her.

——
I walk onto his unit and immediately see his door wide open. He never leaves his door open. He's so paranoid people will go through his stuff.

I quicken my pace as I see a few nurses walk in and back out of his room, loading up a small cart with his belongings. What the-

"What's going on?" I look back and fourth between the nurses.

"Louis needs some of his meds and belongings. We were asked to retrieve them." One of the nurses states as he looks through multiple pill bottles on his dresser.

"Where is he? Did he change rooms?" Neither of them respond. "HELLO!" I slightly startle them.

"He is currently roomed in the ICU. There were a few complications with his surgery this morning."

I suddenly can't breathe. Louis had surgery? There were complications? He's in the ICU? Shit. I can't seem to catch my breath.

I slowly back out of his room.

"Sir? Are you alright?" The nurse looks concerned.

"No- I mean yeah. Thanks." I turn around and quickly walk towards the elevator.

Every horrible senecio is playing through my mind. What if he's on a ventilator? What if they don't think he's going to make it? What if he's all alone. What if...What if i'm too late? FUCK! I start running without realizing. Come on Harry, hurry!

I pound on the ICU doors. They are locked at all times unless a doctor or nurse is permitted to open them. The nurses at the main desk jump a little in their chairs from the loud bang of my fist against the plexiglass.

One of the nurses gets up and walks to the door. I think she's about to open it when she points her finger at a bright neon yellow piece of paper with large black letters reading 'DO NOT UNLOCK (only under pretension circumstances )'  She then mouths 'Sorry' and walks back to the desk.

I look around and try to find him but it's hard to see through all the papers covering the glass panels. I finally find him. Thank God he's alive. I want to touch him, I want to tell him i'm sorry, I want to be there for him, but I can't. I walk backwards until my back hits the wall where the elevator doors are. I sink down and drop my head between my knees.

It's been about 20 minutes when I hear a raspy voice.

"Kid, Stacy left for the day. You can come visit for a few minutes." It's the heavy set lady that was seated behind the desk along with the other nurse.

"Huh?" I rush to my feet.

"Take as much time as you need." She opens the door wider and steps out of the way.

I wrap my arms around her, which surprises her.

"Thank you."

I run to his bedside. I take his hand in mine. It's cold, so fucking cold. He's on oxygen and has a few different IV's, my heart sinks watching him struggle to live.

——

Hours pass. I go from laying on the small couch, to the chair, to pacing as nurses and doctors walk in and out checking vitals. Im seated on a short stool holding his hand in mine again. I rub my thumb back and fourth over his knuckles. As I watch what ever stupid show is on the little TV in the corner.

"I'm sorry." No way Louis just said something.

"What?" I turn around abruptly at the sound of his voice.

"I didn't mean to kiss him." He tightens his grip on my hand.

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AHHHHHHHHHHHH YAY THIER SO CUTE