Together Again- TOG fanfic

one

I was awakened. Reborn. Pulled from a grave I dug for myself.

Glady. I had gladly yielded myself to her. She was who we were supposed to be. She was who I mourned, who I felt ashamed to share the same skin as. Every breath I took was one I knew wasn't meant for me.  An imposter, that's what I was. The sorry effect of a life of cowardice. But she, she is a queen. And she will change the world. All I ever do is harm and hurt and run. So I glady drew away and gave her everything I had. Yielded my very being to her, so that she may take what was rightfully her's.

Celaena disappeared. Aelin appeared.

And yet, here I am, blonde hair whipping at my face from some phantom breeze. Unsullied, wrecked with demons and darkness and destruction. My vision clouds with it- with all of it- a kaleidoscope of the life I led before and after Aelin. I squint amid the darkness and take a weary step forward.

Where am I?

There's a faint thud echoing through my ears and the darkness wavers. I hear it again and spin, searching for the sound. It's barely an echo, but it returns, beating again and again.

Around me, the haze begins to shift, displaying mountains and hills, a distant roaring river.  Through a cloud of swirling darkness, the sun beams across the sky.

I take another step forward. My bare foot splashes into a pebble coated stream, the water clear and clean.

The distant beat becomes clearer and I search the developing world to find it's root.

Taking another step, the darkness continues to dissolve. I see that I'm dressed in a light blue dress that falls to my knees, the fabric soft against my skin. My hair spills over my shoulders and, bringing my hands in front of my face, I see scars covering my palms, callouses decorated my fingers.  A promise to Nehemiah stares back at me.  A promise I handed off to Aelin; a promise I know she could deliver.  

I lift my eyes from my palm and feel it then, the lack of those senses. Of magic.

The senses of an assassin, not those I lost of a fae, kick in, then, as I search the world. But there's no fear. Wherever I am, I feel no fear.

I am not afraid.

So I take another step forward and that constant beat aligns with my own. It pulls me, begging me to come closer. Relying on the toned muscles of Adarlan's Assassin and trained eyes, I walk deeper into the field.

Sunshine- pure, undiluted, uninterrupted light- pours across the world, revealing a roaring garden teeming with spilling trees and colorful butterflies. The darkness disappears as the beat of that thud grows louder. Until I can almost feel it.

So I continue on until my feet dance among the daisies and I breath in the scent of roses and lilacs. The rushing stream roars in my ears and the sun tickles my skin.  Scarred skin.

I walk- deeper and deeper into the garden and allow my head to empty. To live in this moment. So far away from Adarlan or the demons. Here, I am at peace. Here, I am not afraid.

A giggle slips from my lips as I cross the garden and climb a hill, reaching the top within minutes.  I look over at this world. It's foreign and welcoming and happy. There's tall buildings and soaring creatures and I can even hear the distant laughter of children carried on the wind.  No sign of wyverns or witch towers or clock towers or locks or valg.

I decide then that I love it here. That I want to stay here.  That I want to roll in the tall grasses, breathing in the fresh scent.  That I want to explore the city splayed out before me.  That I yearn to go shopping and try chocolates and-