Anonymous

Chapter-4

The day went by as usual, lessons and tests and homework, loads of homework.

Though we got to know that a new guy will be joining our class. Weird, It's almost the end of the semester. Well, who cares.
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Why is everyday so same? What is happening? I don’t know. It’s just so boring.

It’s so predictable.

I got an 80 again, in 100. The same thing is gonna happen when I reach home, he is again going to be disappointed. He is always so disappointed that I don’t even care anymore. Every time he goes ‘80% won’t give you comfort or you will be nothing with an 80%.’ That’s all he cares about. I  don’t even want to be anything if that something means getting up every morning to tie a tie around my neck and go to office as if I like being there. I don’t want to go out with people who think that life is about going to rich places and eating rich food. Like , for god’s sake, just try to sit back and enjoy life, may be you’ll realise what life is about.

Ugh, I hate it so much. I hate that sometimes , it gets me and I start to hate myself for being the way I am . i don’t want to, I really don’t want to. Its just when you listen to the same thing again and again, it gets in your head and it’s not your fault but you don’t have enough strength left to fight it.

It happened, it happened again. I can’t take it anymore.

I hate myself. I am a disappointment.

I hate myself for the way I react to it and I hate myself for not reacting to it the way they want.

I don’t want to be a disappointment, I really don’t.

I don’t want to cry about it either but I hate that I am such a cry-baby, those words always get to me. They always leave me like this . I want it to stop, but it doesn’t stop.

I wish it could stop, or just anything could stop.

I wish the pain could stop,  I wish time could stop or I wish everything could stop.

I feel week.

Is there any way to change this feeling?

Is there any way to stop it?

It’s getting closer to bedtime.

I wish I don’t wake up.

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A/N -
               
If you feel like this, then I want to say that its not your fault, you are amazing. you are not week for crying.