How (Not) To Please Your Dragon

1.Gobber Screams a Whole Darn Lot

"LISTEN UP,YA MOULDY LIMPET HORNS!" Gobber screamed.Gobber was a giant lump of  a man,and he was currently very annoyed with a group of ten children,five of them girls.

"Do limpets have horns?"one of the heroes-to-be,a girl called Luna who stood slightly taller than everyone else(even the boys) asked her best friend Alyssa.

"Yes,they do,"Alyssa yelled in Luna's ear.

"Okay,thanks."

"ARE YOU TWO DONE?"Gobber honked angrily.He was annoyed because:
1)The kids were very impolite.
2)Luna had been asking questions all day.
3)Alyssa had been screaming all day.
4)The boys were too quiet for their own good.
5)Gobber had lost his favourite hairy underpants that morning.

So you see,Gobber was very annoyed indeed.

"Sir,"one of the boys,Burntihog said quietly."What are we doing here?"

"HEE HEE HEE,"Gobber said madly."I TOLD YOU THREE HOURS AGO."

"Sorry,sire,"mumbled Burntihog and Hildegard,the fifth girl.

"WE ARE HERE TO CATCH YOUR OWN SMELLY DRAGONS,"Gobber boomed.

"Wasn't that slightly obvious?"asked Alyssa.

"Was it?"

"Yeah."

"NEVERMIND,"Gobber plowed on."SEE THOSE CAVES THERE?THERE'S WHERE Y'ALL ARE ABOUT TO GO."

Amadora,a tiny blonde girl wormed out from behind the others."That looks scary,"she mumbled,shivering like a pile of dead leaves.(Do dead leaves shiver?)

"YOU'RE A HOOLIGAN,FOR THOR'S SAKE,GIRL,NOT ONE OF THOSE FLUFFY BUNNIES THE BOG-BURGLARS!"bellowed Gobber.

"You know,she is extremely bunnyish,"Chloe,another girl,remarked.

Gobber howled angrily."I don't care!You're here for Initiation whether you like it or not.Thor help me,I've never seen such a bunch of hopeless idiots like you.You're worse than Slip and Smell last year!Now get in those caves and grab a dragon-quietly,girls-and then come out again.Preferably in one piece."His tone told them that he wouldn't mind if they had come out in bits.

"Fine,"said Alyssa."Come on,folks.We're going to climb up that cliff and get a dragon.Now,everyone make sure you don't have a Monstrous Nightmare,since we're not sons of the Chief.Get a dragon and get out of there.We'll do this individually,so no sticking together.Spread out."

The Heroes-To-Be climbed wearily up the cliff to the Dragon Nursery,with Luna asking a question every ten seconds and Alyssa screaming at Luna every fifteen seconds.

Behind them,Gobber decided to take a nap.

.•*•.( Consultingdemiwitch Thank you for teaching me this.)

The Vikings hauled themselves into the Dragon Nursery.

"Woah,"Amadora gushed sleepily.

"Woah indeed,"said Luna,awed by the sight of the sleeping dragons.

"Woah,"said Hildegard.

"Woah,"Chloe exclaimed.

"WOAH,"Alyssa hollered.

The boys said nothing.

Alyssa started directing them all to different corners to choose a dragon.Since she was the eldest and the best at the Viking subjects,she tended to take command of the class.

"I'm going to get a Deadly Nadder,"Luna fangirled to Chloe.

"I want a GRONCKLE,"Hildegard butted in."Gronckles are super-scary."

"Luna,you're with me.Come this way,I think I saw a group of Nadders over there."Alyssa finished."Meet you all back there at the cave entrance when we're all done."

"I hate Romans,I hate Romans,"Hildegard chanted as she skipped off with Chloe and Amadora.

Alyssa and Luna started trudging off to the dark,damp corner,gabbling excitedly about Deadly Nadders.

"Oh I wish I had a Monstrous Nightmare,"Alyssa was saying."If only I were allowed."

"You're not,"Luna hissed peevishly.

"I know."

"Shush."Luna stretched out her arms and seized a  Deadly Nadder on the ground.She plopped it into her basket."That wasn't so hard,was it?"

"My turn,"said Alyssa.She trudged over to a pile of sleeping dragons.Those were actually Monstrous Nightmares,but Luna needn't know about that.She selected a sleeping red female and put it into her dragon basket.

"Now let's go,"Luna hissed.

They slipped back into the main cave."Phew,"Luna whispered.The others were already there,waiting to leave.

"Have we all got a dragon?"Alyssa whisper-yelled.

"Aye aye,"they said.

"Good.Let's get out of here."

The young Heroes climbed back down the cliff,where Gobber was still sleeping."Someone wake him up,"Alyssa said.

She,Luna,Chloe and Hildegard hopped onto Gobber's heaving chest."WAKE UP,YOU LIMPET-EATING,WALRUS-MUSTACHED,CAULIFLOWER-EARED SON OF A BUM POO,"Alyssa shrieked.

Gobber woke up with a giant POOT.It was his fart."SHUT UP,YOU GIRLY BEAN OF A HUMAN,"he honked angrily.The girls hopped off him.

"YOU ALL HAVE DRAGONS.GOOD.NOW,GET BACK TO BERK VILLAGE.YOU HAVE UNTIL THOR'SDAY THURSDAY TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON.READ THIS BOOK IN THE GREAT HALL TO LEARN TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON. CHEERIO!"

And with that,Gobber ran back to the village,flailing his arms madly as he did so.