around my bones {h.s. au}

across the gap of a thousand years

"If there is life after the earth-life, will you come with me? Even then? Since we're bound to be something, why not together."

-mary oliver

1968

They meet again in a world unlike anything Lena has ever known. Loud. Bright. Chaotic. Lena often believes she will be swept away in the sea of people. The city is painted a thousand different colors, ebbing and flowing, and set to the beat of a heavy drum. It pulses under all the buildings. Even at night, when the moon's glow matches that of the city lights, there is always a pulse. Never a shred of darkness. This sky is never filled with stars for they cannot compete with the brightness of this place.

Despite that lack of stars to gaze upon, Lena still slips out of the window of her sixth floor walk up. Chips of paint falling from the frame as she crawls through. Pulling her knees to her chest, Lena watches all the cars inch forward along the packed streets. Sounds of people filling every inch. Life is vibrant in this city, overwhelming and consuming her and leaving her terribly alone all at the same time. It rushes and moves at a rapid pace. And Lena remains. Stagnant like a star in the sky -burning and burning and burning.

But in this city, people cannot see the stars.

And Lena is no different.

People hardly notice anyone in this city. Lena lives in her anonymity, hidden behind old brick walls.

Night time is always for her though. Seasons have never mattered much to her. It could be the dead of winter and Lena would still perch along her fire escape, dark eyes mesmerized by the world around her. As snow drifts from the black sky, melting on her face as Lena turns into it. Facing the sky above her.

The sky, the sky, the sky.

And Lena would speak. Ask. Beg. For the gods or to anyone who would listen -allow her one star burning against the night sky.

Nothing ever appeared.

This was not the first time Lena had lived in a larger city. London had been the last. Twenty or so years ago now. But London burned with memories that threatened to rip her open once more.

Something about this city felt the same.

She found Harry in this place by chance. City of millions. Lena nothing more than a girl eating lunch on the steps of work. Enjoying springtime in the city. The sun finally breaking through the grey clouds of winter. And then, there he was. Riding his bike down the street, weaving between taxis. Sun catching the hints of gold in his hair. Glasses perched along the bridge of his nose. Books filling the basket on his bike.

Time slowed as Lena watched him ride past. Taking no notice of the girl on the steps.

Lena does not place herself into his world. She merely becomes a background piece. The dark haired neighbor in the apartment down the hall. Sometimes he offers her a smile if they run into each other at the mailboxes. Twice he has held the door for Lena.

Once they share an umbrella out front. Standing among puddles as they wait for a cab. Harry chats nervously about his classes that semester, a concert he was driving upstate to see that weekend, how miserable the weather had been all month. Rain has slipped down the edges of the umbrella, the cars loud roared was silenced, the city could have collapsed to rubble -and Lena would have paid it no mind. Because for a few short moments she pretended. Lena was simply a girl, Harry was just a boy, and they were nothing more than neighbors sharing an umbrella on a particularly rainy Wednesday in October.

For the first time, Lena wishes she did not remember. That she could cast her memories into the harbor. That she could just be a girl who maybe falls in love with a boy. That lives her life with him and grows old with him.