around my bones {h.s. au}

the bloodiness of your heart

"i believed it was the end. every time. and it was the belief that made you a religion."

- tatiana ryckman

1096 A.D.

The fifth time they find each other they are on opposite sides of a war. Many ways Lena's life is like her first -the life where she was nothing more than a girl in a village by the sea. This life is simple, easy. Lena works in the fields, gathering grain with the other women. Working until the sun breaks them and their baskets are full and their backs ache. Evening falls onto this village and every night people gather towards Lena's front door. Dried herbs hang from her windows as her mother had once done lifetimes ago. People seek her for remedies and fortunes -fear free from their hearts. Because they are friends who Lena gathers with in the summertime and celebrates with when there are marriages and babies.

Lena picks up her basket, anchoring it against her hip as she stands. Hand pressing to her low back in an attempt to relieve the weight she carried. Gently, she turns her face to feel the winds dancing across her cheek. Closing her eyes as it ripples through her hair. Autumn was nearly upon them. The scent in the air. Clean and crisp.

Blades of grain move and bend with the breeze, rippling like a sea across the fields. Rising and falling. An ocean of gold as far as the eye could see.

Day after day, Lena lives this life.

But there are some nights, when the moon rises over the village, Lena can be found sneaking down towards the river. Here she is so far inland the sea is something people have only heard tales of. But she craves it, her soul aches for the water.

The river is gentle and easy, so unlike the sea Lena had once known. She loves to watch how the water tumbles over the rocks molding them until they are smooth. Under the inky sky and with the light of the moon and the stars, Lena slips out of her plain dress leaving it in a pile by the shore.

Cold water runs from the mountains through the river. Chilling Lena to her bone as she steps into its stream. Step by step. Until the water could swallow her whole. But it never does. Lena floats along the surface, staring up to the stars painted above her. Counting the constellations and wondering where Harry is in this life. If he looks up to the same stars. If there are nights his chest aches and he is unsure why.

Always, Lena drifts too far and must swim back to her place on the river bank. The night air drying the water from her skin. Bumps prickling over her legs and arms from the chill. Quietly, Lena pulls her dress back on and makes a fire. Mesmerized by the flames as they crack in the air. Hands dancing as she bends them to do as she wills. Twisting and curling up to the night. The fire moves for Lena and she remembers how the flames felt crawling up her body that night.

Lena's memories are as clear as the river running through her village.

Every life in perfect clarity.

The second life was when Lena had walked through the markets, following the woman who had bought her. Bracelets on her wrist so everyone knew Lena's place. Slat stung the air, but this sea was different than what Lena had known before. Everything was busier and chaotic. Carts swerving through the streets and vendors shouting their prices for goods. Desperate, Lena had turned her face to the sea, searching for its familiar breeze. And there he had been. Hauling rope on a boat ready to set off to the sea. Crossing worlds and exploring what was beyond the horizon. Lena had stepped towards the docks, his name in her throat. Legs itching to run through the streets she did not know and swim through the waves to reach him. Two steps was all Lena made before someone jerked her back, slapping her hands. They had continued through the market, tears falling from Lena's face and splattering onto the dirt beneath her feet. Lena never saw him again.