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I sigh as I blow out the smoke from my cigarette
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I hate nights like this, they are so fucking slow and boring but the money's good and I need money. It's been two years since I was left to be on my own and I wish I could say my life is great but unfortunately not all of us get a happy ending.
Not surprisingly, I fall into the percentage who end up on the lower scale and my life sucks. Sure I'm surviving and that's good but it's barely.
Since leaving the orphanage, I've sold my childhood home, gotten a small apartment, started using drugs and took stripping. I've been stripping since I was eighteen and earlier this year, I took up prostituting.
Stripping is a demanding job and I like being able to talk guys into giving me more money or taking me shopping just for the small price of pleasing them. Of course people will judge me and say it's bad and they'd be right because when I first started I was raped for the second time in my life but you get up and get over it.
I guess the only downfall of it was that I got pregnant but I didn't know so I kept using drugs and killed my baby on accident. You don't know pain until you're in the hospital alone and they tell you that your unborn child died due to your drug use.
The whole thing just broke something inside of me and I spiraled, I got into harder drugs, started cutting, and started sleeping with any guy who would look my way.
After doing it for a while to cover the pain, I became addicted and I can't stop now or I'll lose everything. I like being that sort of companionship, that pleasure, the desire for guys, it's an adrenaline rush that's better than any drug.
I've heard my father got out and is looking for me and that's why I'm currently on my way to New York to get away from him. I know why he's looking for me and I'm not about to lose my life before I live it to the fullest.
Thankfully, my boss/pimp has a friend who owns a high end strip club in New York so I have a job waiting for me there. This is my last week working here because my new boss wants me settled in and prepped for the upcoming holiday weekend.
