Lucifer: Taken

Part VIII

The rest of Chloe's day was agonizingly long. She had no case, and was dying to find Lucifer. To make sure that he was okay. Regardless of the fact that she would have to pretend not to know what he said, she needed to offer him something. Anything. A lifeline.
"Hey, Chloe. How you doing?" Dan stopped in front of her desk, and she looked up at him, surprised by the visitor.
"Good. I'm good," she said immediately, and Dan raised an eyebrow at her.
"Right. Look, I know that what we heard today was hard. I don't even like the guy, and it was tough to listen to. No one deserves what he went through, even if he is a selfish, arrogant prick."
"He is not selfish," Chloe snapped. "Say what you will about Lucifer's other personality traits, but selfishness does not apply. He has literally taken a bullet for me. He sent us out of that room to spare us these . . . these horrific details of what he endured, and I will not have you saying things like that about him." There was a blaze in her eyes, anger overriding all the different emotions inside her head. Finally, this was something that she could act on, and confronting Dan helped to squish the feeling of helplessness that she'd had since Lucifer first went missing.
"You're right, Chloe. I'm sorry," Dan responded, hands raised in surrender. "I'm grateful for what Lucifer has done for you—for us. I just want to make sure you're okay with everything. And to see if you needed to talk. I understand what you're going through. I was there too." For the first time, Chloe recognized that statement, and Dan's uncertainty behind it. He had been there. He was the one that helped Lucifer down, who slowed his bleeding, who had enough sense to turn him on his side to make sure that he didn't choke to death on his own blood.
"No, I'm sorry, Dan. I've been so caught up in how I'm feeling, and how Lucifer is feeling, that I haven't checked in with you. That was a difficult situation. Are you doing okay with everything?" Dan sighed, taking a seat at the chair next to her desk—one that she was used to Lucifer sinking down into. She clenched her teeth for a moment, a pang of sadness hitting her, and then returned her attention to her ex-husband.
"It's been hard, Chloe. I know we deal with this shit every day, but this is different. When it's someone you know. You know? Like, this could have happened to some other Joe Shmo, and I don't think I would have felt this . . . helplessness? I don't know." Dan shrugged. "I just see Lucifer as this like, unstoppable force. Nothing anyone says or does ever stops him. And seeing him like that was a pump-the-brakes reality check. This could happen to any of us, any day. He just had some bad luck, and—BAM!" Chloe jumped at his sudden volume increase.
"Yeah, Dan. I feel the same way." Chloe took a deep breath, then hesitated before she spoke again. "When we walked in and I saw him, I-I just froze. I didn't know what to do. If it had been anyone else, I know what logical steps I would have taken, to get him down, to stop the bleeding, to help. But my mind, it was just blank. If you hadn't been there, he would have died. I know that. I feel it, right here—" she hit her sternum with a closed fist, gently, "—and I feel so, so guilty. I didn't help him." Dan reached out and took her hand, squeezing hard as he leaned forward to look in her eyes.
"Chloe," he sighed. "You can't blame yourself for that. Look at all the hours you put in while he was gone, looking for him. We never would have found him without you. I stopped the bleeding when we got there, but you found him."
"Yeah, but while I was 'finding' him, he was being tortured," Chloe muttered. "How could he ever forgive me, for taking so damn long to get to him?" She looked at Dan, knowing that he didn't have the answer but hoping anyways.
"Go see him." He raised a hand as she began to protest. "I know you're trying to give him some space, but you're not going to get anything done here until you talk to him. Go. Make sure he's okay, and make sure you're okay." Chloe bit her lip, thinking, and then nodded. She stood up from her desk, grabbed her jacket, and put it on as she walked out of the precinct, trying to figure out how she was going to approach this situation.

~~~

Chloe's heart was in her throat as the elevator dinged, announcing her arrival at Lucifer's penthouse. The doors slid open, and she could see him sitting at the piano, back turned to her. She slowly approached, receiving no response from his utterly still form. She noticed that the sling, which had been cradling his right arm since the hospital, was laying on the floor next to the bench, and Chloe smiled softly, envisioning him stubbornly taking it off and tossing it there to prove that he could do whatever he wanted.
"Lucifer, hey. I just wanted—" she broke off immediately when she got to his side and saw his expression. He looked defeated, lost, as he stared at the keys. "What's wrong? Lucifer?" she prodded when she didn't receive an answer the first time. "Are you okay? Are you in pain?" He finally met her eyes, and his gaze held a look that she'd never seen before.
"I can't play," he said, voice barely more than a whisper and thick with emotion. Chloe knelt next to the piano bench and reached out to touch him, pulling her hand away as he flinched away from her and then closed his eyes, the slight movement of his arm obviously bringing him pain.
"Lucifer, I . . . It's not permanent. You'll be able to play again, your body just needs some time to heal. It's okay," she reassured him. He didn't move, still as a statue with his eyes still shut. She resisted the urge to try and touch him again. "Lucifer. Your shoulder will heal," she assured him firmly. He opened his eyes and met her gaze, and she realized that this wasn't just about playing the piano. That was just the straw that broke the camel's back. "Can I . . . ?" she left an open question, slowly reaching toward him. He gave a slight nod, almost imperceptible, but it was enough. She stood just enough to slide onto the bench next to him, and wrapped her arms around his torso gently, trying to avoid where she knew the biggest wounds were. Lucifer was completely still underneath her, the strong heartbeat in his chest the only thing telling her that he wasn't a stone statue. She had come here to talk about herself and her feelings, and she wanted to smack herself for thinking that five days after he'd been rescued from a meat freezer was a good time. He had enough to deal with without her adding her own problems to the mix.
"Do you need . . . to talk about anything? What do you need?" Chloe asked in a whisper, the sound muffled against his chest. She felt him sigh, wince, let the rest of his breath out more slowly. He said nothing, and she took that as her answer. He would talk when he was ready, and now wasn't the time to pry. She didn't know how long they sat like that, quiet, comfortable, before Lucifer broke the silence.
"It was . . . Hell," Lucifer said softy, jolting Chloe out of her thoughts despite his gentle tone. He laughed humorlessly at his own words and took a quick breath, steadying himself before continuing. Chloe removed her arms from his body and looked at his face, at his thousand-yard stare. He wasn't in the penthouse anymore, his deep brown eyes looking at something else. "Trust me, I know. I was there for a long time. This was different. The pain . . . " he trailed off, and Chloe gently rested a hand on his thigh, not wanting to interrupt, but also not wanting him to feel like he had to continue. "The physical pain, I could endure. It wasn't that terrible, really, until the end." He stopped to think about his next words, and Chloe remained silent.
"It was the betrayal," he murmured after a moment. "It was the betrayal that made those days so excruciating. I've had a long time to deal with the first bit, you know, the fallout of the millennia. I've very much come to terms with it. But for it to all come back again, for him to come here and—" he cut himself off and sat up a little bit straighter, realizing that he'd started to say too much. Realization began to dawn on Chloe, and she opened her mouth to speak only for her cellphone to ring, vibrating in her pocket. She pulled it out and and glanced at the caller ID. Dan.
"I'm so sorry. I have to take this," she said apologetically. Lucifer nodded, sliding off the piano bench and walking slowly behind the bar, pulling a bottle from one of the shelves to pour himself a drink. His left hand trembled, the only sign of his despair from less than an hour ago.
"Decker." Chloe tore her eyes away from Lucifer.
"Chloe. We have a lead on Romero. We think we know where he's been hiding. We're leaving the precinct in ten. Do you want to meet us there?" Dan's voice was full of nervous energy, and Chloe's breath caught in her throat at his words. They found him. The man who had put them through all of this, put Lucifer through all of this.
"Yeah. Text me the address. Thanks, Dan." She hung up, and looked at Lucifer in shock. He met her gaze and immediately put down his glass, rushing to her side.
"Detective?" he asked, concern obvious on his face. "What's wrong? What's happened?" Chloe just shook her head in disbelief.
"Lucifer, I — they found Romero." Something flashes across his face, but Chloe can't figure out what it is before it's gone. He opens his mouth slightly as if he's going to say something, but changes his mind and closes it again, swallowing.
"Be safe, Detective." Chloe stares in confusion for a second, having expected much more of a fight. Or rather, a plea from him to go with her and get the person who hurt him.
"Do you . . . want to . . . ?" she asked, not finishing her question. Lucifer offers her a small smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes, and shakes his head.
"No, Detective. I think this is a little bit too close for me. I apologize," he declines gracefully. Chloe is surprised at his level of restraint, and raises an eyebrow before shaking her head.
"Alright. I'll come back when I'm done?" she suggests, looking to Lucifer for confirmation that it's okay.
"If you desire. Be careful, please." He gives her a look that she can't quite read, but she offers a smile in return before hurrying to the elevator, heart beating just as quickly as when she first arrived.