Covens and Proxies

24

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Toby's POV

I don't know why I did that. I really don't. I don't understand most of my mood swings and the actions that come from them. So I just sat on the couch and let her run away. I know she won't be in danger from anyone on the streets tonight. Most of my old friends will probably be looking for me, rather then someone to kill. They'll ignore a girl walking alone on the streets.

Still, I can't say I wasn't relieved when she walked in. She sounded perfectly fine. Maybe just scared, but not of anything out there. She was scared of me. I made a point not to move, in case I tried to hurt her again.

It's horrible being me sometimes. I know about every action I take, I'm fully conscious for everything I do. Even sleeping. But who I am and what I've become... It's not something that's meant for domestic life like this. I need to kill to stay calm. I need to attack to feel in control. And being stuck in a small ass house with a witch and a human isn't fucking helping.

I was an idiot to think this could work.

Getting up, I go to the fridge and dig up some lunch. Not even waffles with their sticky syrup and melting butter sound good. (Y/n) comes out, probably when she smelled the hot dog I'm frying, and sits on the couch with her book.

She's never actually let my see that. Not that I really want to. I know I wouldn't understand shit. But Slender would like to study it.

I shake my head clear of him, going back to my food. Just thinking about the bastard can alert him of where you are. Directly calling to him, mentally or out loud, will really get his attention.

I eat at the table, wash my dish, and stand at the counter. I don't want to sit with (Y/n), even though I really, really do, and I can't go outside. So what do I do?

The door bursts open just then, Zemra stepping inside with a big smile. "Honey! I'm home!" She calls, seeing (Y/n) on the couch.

She smiles at her roommate, big and bright. She's a really good actress, but I can still see the cracks in her mask. It just reminds me how many times I've hurt her.

Zemra's shocked. "You're still here? Shouldn't you be driving and stuff?"

She shrugs. "Since Toby is staying here, I'm taking a few days off to make sure he's adjusted."

I can hear Zemra's sneer. She absolutely hates me. Not that I don't understand, but still. It sort of hurts.

"Why should you? He should be totally adjusted to a normal life alone, right?"

I chuckle at the irony, catching her glare. "I just think it's funny that you think I've lived with other normal people before." Not a lie.

She cocks an eyebrow, a mocking smirk on her lips. "And who have you lived with?"

I smirk to myself. Oh, no one important. Only Jeff the Killer, the infamous proxies Masky and Hoodie, and not to mention the feared Slenderman and his four brothers. "I'm just saying all my previous roommates were freaky and weird. By your standards, anyways."

"Oh? And what does a lazy blob like you know about standards, especially mine?" She snaps back.

I roll my eyes. "Everyone has standards that are practically the same. No one's unique. Not really." I can hear my voice get dangerously low, my head already splitting from fighting my tics. I barely notice (Y/n) get up until her hands is on my chest and her weight is pressing comfortingly into my side.

"Would you say my standards are pretty average?" She got a flirtatious look in her eye that drives me to the edge, but reminds me of who I am and what I'm doing here. Her hand is warm, that comforting warmth in her healing magic, so I know she's prepared to calm me down.

Still, her comment makes me smirk. I wrap my arm around her waist and squeeze lightly. "Eh. Just a little."

Zemra scoffs and storms off to her room, letting me relax. (Y/n) doesn't move, which I can't tell if it's good or bad frozen. Her spell is still leaking into my heart, so it's probably good. Right?

"Are you alright?" She asks, her other hand brushing through my hair.

I take it and press into her touch, letting her scent envelope me, her warmth consume me. "I am now-now." I tell her.

She smiles momentarily before frowning. In the next moment, my cheek is tingling and my head is tilted a different direction. She slapped me.

"Then what the hell was that?!" She snaps, obviously working hard to keep her voice down.

I don't need to ask about what she means. "I lost control." Is all I manage, though I know it's not an excuse. Not really. I was still a jackass that would've raped her if I could.

"No kidding! You're lucky I'm a witch, Tobias! And you're damn lucky I understand you, or you'd be dead right now!"

I didn't want to look at her and see the anger, the same kind that stained my parents' when I was little, the look branded into my brain, but when I do look, I don't see anger. I see hurt and fear in her glistening eyes, almost tearing up. Somehow, it hurts worse then any furious glance cast at me. Worse then when my sister had been disappointed when I punched a kid in kinder. Worse then Slender's punishments for disobedience.

But.... Why?

I still don't understand why what she does and feels matters to me so much.

And seeing her on the brink of tears makes me want to curl in a hole in the ground and wait until death wraps me in it's chilled embrace. I thought I'd hurt her on our date, but this... This is another level.

WHY CAN'T I DO ANYTHING WITH HER RIGHT?! "I'm sorry." I manage, taking her hands and pressing them to my temples. "Do what y-yo-you think you need to."

I always thought I was immune to pain after my sister, even emotional, but I realise that I never understood pain until I met her. When her spell hit me, it hurt. It really, truly hurt. I want her to show me everything, every human thing I've missed in ten long years of insanity and killing. Even pain.

What I don't expect is her warmth. A different kind of warmth then she's shown me before, though. This one is just as comforting and relaxing as the other, but it also feels like something else. It feels like home. And love. Kindness. Like I matter. Like my existence is a good thing. All sensations and ideas I'd forgotten since I was just a baby.

When it fades, I can't see anything but her. Everything else is void. Non-existent. Unimportant. And she's smiling. A real smile. "I'm not going to hurt you. I would never do that. But next time, just ask."

My own eyes sting like hot rods with my own tears, but I keep it down and keep myself together. And I hug her. I can't do anything else. I hug her tight because I don't want her to disappear and leave me in darkness like any other person I've loved.

Love? Is that what this is?