wheels on the bus ➸ [larry au]

ღ chapter twenty-nine ღ

louis pov

i had fucked it up.

i knew it. but somehow it felt better to lie to harry then to tell him the truth. to tell him that i absolutely loved the kiss we shared and that i wanted to do it more. that i wanted to try new things with him.

but it was all confusing as well.

i never really liked lads. at least, not really. when i was in high school i kissed liam because i wanted to see what it was like to kiss other lads. i mean i did find my teammates on the football team very attractive and sometimes even fantasized about dating a few. just never really went in depth to explore those feelings.

i was with gemma after all.

but with harry.... it was all different.

when we were on our little arcade trip, i purposely made sure i won the most so i could give him a gift. i wanted to give him something to show him that i am more than just the louis who has been hurting him growing up.

but i guess i did that on my own today.

the plane ride was very weird. i didn't want to say anything else to hurt him even more and he didn't attempt to make conversation. probably in fear that i'd tell him off or something.

which only made me regret what i said even more.

i figured blaming the alcohol was better than telling him how i truly felt. yet how could i take back admitting to writing songs about him? who even does that?

harry went directly to his house after the plane ride. couldn't blame him, i would want to get away from me too.

i was nervous to how he'd react to find the superman action figure that i had told zayn to drop off. maybe he'd realize that i am not a bad person after all? but then again, that was too much to ask at this point.

i just knew i had fucked up.

entering my own house, i smiled when i see my siblings all jump excitedly at my arrival. i greet them all individually making sure to answer all their questions about life in america.

the last person to greet was my mum who had not yet notice my arrival. i come from behind her as she finishes preparing tonight's dinner, i suppose, and she beams when she realizes it's me.

"louis!" she shouts dropping everything to hug me. literally. i laugh when i notice the utensils on the floor and she joins me in laughter as i pick them up.

"sorry," she smiles, "just missed you! how is university in america treating you?"

i tell her everything. even telling her about how i had run into harry and everything that's been going around. i was an open book with her. she knew everything about me and i liked that she was constantly involved in my life.

others find it weird but i found it comforting.

"wait," she pauses me, "do you... do you like this boy, louis?"

"i don't know," i say frustrated with myself, "i think i do? he's just so confusing. he's so adorable but at the same time so annoying. but in a cute way?"

mum gives me a look probably because i called him annoying. but it's true! he's gotten into my head and he has stayed there ever since.

"well you know there's nothing wrong with liking this boy, right?" she says, more like a question. i nod hesitantly. of course, there's nothing wrong with liking him.

i just wished i didn't.

with harry, everything's unpredictable. i feel like i'm always pushing him away and it's an endless cycle that i seem to repeat over and over again.

and yet he's always there giving me a second chance.

i have been wanting to kiss him since that day in the ice cream shop if i'm being honest. and yesterday was the first day i acted upon those desires. but of course being the person i am, i had to ruin it.

"you should invite him for your birthday dinner, lou," mum says placing the food she had made on the table. she calls out to my siblings with a 'dinner's ready' call and she returns her attention to me.

"i... i don't know," i say scratching my neck nervously. since when do i get nervous?

"you should!" one of my sisters pipes in, "i want to meet him."

i roll my eyes but nod. should i invite him? would he even come after what i said?

"i'll call him after dinner," i say finally agreeing. i just hope he says yes. i really needed to talk to him.

ღ

"hello?" harry says as soon as he picks up. adorably, may i add.

no. stop.

"hey harry," i say trying to act casually cause how else should i act?

"yeah?" he says confusedly.

"my birthday is thursday," i start, "my family is having a family dinner and they... i mean i... wanted to see if you'd come."

"oh," he says. oh? what does that mean?

"will you...will you come?" i asked with a bit of hope. i really wanted to talk to him and explain myself.

"i don't know...louis," i hear him answer, "it's christmas eve and i'm spending it with my mum-"

"she can come," i interrupt him, "come please?"

he stays silent for a while and i suddenly feel nervous that he'd say no. what if he doesn't want to come? i just wanted to make things right and apologizing right now through the phone didn't seem right.

but maybe i should?

as i began to open my mouth, i hear him answer and a smile breaks on my face. he said yes. he was gonna be here.

"oh," he then says grabbing my attention again, "thank you for getting the superman action figure back."

"yeah," i reply not knowing how to reply. we remain in silence for a few seconds before he says he has to go and we say goodbye.

i had two days. two days to prepare what i'd say to him.

to tell him how fucked up i am (although i think he knows) and tell him that i truly am trying to be better for him. that i'll try to be better for him.

>>

authors note:

short louis pov

this book is SO close to ending omg. few more chapters omg omg.

y'all ain't ready for the ending.

alsoo!

just to point real quick cause i never made this clear; the chapters before chapter 16 were all flashbacks which is why chapter 16 opens up with teenage harry thinking about this and dozing off in class and blah blah blah lol :)

thats all

happy new year's eve!

unedited/unrevised

december 31, 2020

sarah