The Intern: Tyler, The Creator

35. Bliss

Sunday

I woke up to the sun coming in from the half parted blinds.

I turned over, facing Tyler, so was still full asleep.

He looked so at peace, so beautiful.

It was the first time I had ever seen him like this; I watched his chest contract with every breath he took. It made me smile a little.

Deciding it was best to leave before he could wake, I made my way slowly got out of bed over to the bathroom.

I brushed my teeth, thinking about what happened yesterday.

We ordered Chinese food and watched some Kubrick, completely forgetting about the fact that I was only there because he was lonely and I was there only to offer my comfort.

Before I could finish brushing, Tyler walked in behind me, grabbing my waist softly to move me aside and grab his own toothbrush next to me.

"I didn't mean to wake you—," I spoke, looking at him through the mirror.

"You didn't. I'm up early every day," He applied toothpaste to his brush. "You sleep well?"

I nodded, finishing up.

My phone began to ring, I could hear it from the bedroom.

I made my way back to it, realizing it was a voice message from my dad.

I slipped into the bed as I played it.

"I'm going golfing with people at the firm, be back later. Text me when you get home. Love you."

I texted him back, saying that I'd text him when I got back from Emily's. I obviously had lied and told him it was a sleepover with a few girls from work. I honestly couldn't believe that he believed the fact that I was this old going to sleepovers.

My thoughts dispersed as I felt Tyler's hand across my back as he slipped up next to me. I turned to him, his lips meeting mine for a moment.
The kisses tasted like pure spearmint.

I pulled away.

"I should probably go..." I began.

"What? You not spending the day?"

I sighed.

"This isn't even real."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" He say up on the bed.

"This. Us."

He was silent, trying to figure me out. I could tell he was still lost. I began to form my words.

"I want you to like me."

"I do." He replied.

"You know what I mean."

"Nia..." He looked away.

"This is what I mean when I say this isn't real. It's a fucking fantasy that I'm living in, Tyler. I'm only here to comfort you when you're alone because Bella isn't here. She's in fucking Paris right now. I wouldn't even be here if she wasn't..." I caught my breath to keep my voice from cracking under pressure. "I can't even tell you how I feel because I know how it'll end."

"I didn't mean for you to feel like this."

"That's the thing—you-you fuck me, and you act like we're a real thing but it's so far from that. I've never been in this situation the way I am with you. Did you expect me to just play along like a fucking pet without any feelings? Because you know I have feelings right?"
I could feel my tears welling up in my eyes before I could even form the words I wanted to.

"What do you want me to say? You agreed to this, Nia."

"You know why I'm doing this. You know why I won't stop doing this with you." I spoke.

Tyler breathed out, looking down as he shook his head in disappointment.

"What did you think would be the outcome. Like, think about it Nia. With a clear fucking head. Did you think I was going to break up with my fiancé and quit my job to be with you? My intern? What's your ideal outcome?"

"It fucks me up that you know I'm in love with you and you still manage to—," I couldn't even finish my sentence after realizing I had confessed to him. "I'm done."

I got up from the bed, grabbing my stuff.

He took hold of my arm, forcing me to stop.

"Look at me." He stammered.

I did.

Tears were flowing uncontrollably now. I was an embarrassment. I felt embarrassed that I still thought that there was a chance—a sliver of chance that he could possibly feel the same.

"You're better than me." He replied.

I scoffed. "Don't start with that bullshit!"

"Nia!" He held my arm tighter. "Listen. You're young. You have so much shit ahead of you still."

"I'm 24. You act like I'm—,"

"You're too fucking young for me. I didn't fully even mature till I was 25. That's a whole six year gap. You know how much shit I learned in that time frame?"

"Then teach me."

Tyler let go of my arm. He didn't say anything.

"Fine. Fuck this. I'm done doing this."

"Nia."

He watched as I packed all my shit back into my bag.

"Look, I'm sorry—,"

I ignored him, leaving.