More to Love

Stalker?

My dad starred intensely at me waiting for my question. I've never had a problem talking to my father, but this man in front of me looked nothing like my father. His eyes looked dark and purple with bags under them. He was still wearing the same clothes from yesterday so he hasn't had a shower, which he never wears the same clothes twice. He just looked really tired and I couldn't help but to feel guilty.

Him and I told everything to each other, no matter how extreme it was. He even told me he got another woman pregnant a couple years ago but she lost the baby. She was a one night stand but what parent would tell their child that? Only we had the special bond and since this situation has happened, it's now broken.

"Daddy, why all these years d-did you lie? I-I thought we told each other everything? What changed?" I asked, stuttering. I could feel the lump in my throat, ready to cry but I tried to swallow it back down.

He looked stuck as if he didn't know how to answer the question. He looked anywhere but my face. That pissed me off. His acting like a kid.

"Huh? You can't even answer a simple question can you? I understand I was young but I'm not a baby anymore! I could have handled it! So tell me!" I screamed at him, my nose was flaring and my face was heating up. I was livid.

I thought he was about to go off on me but he didn't. In the calmest voice he responded, "Your mother was a whore. When I was broke, I still gave her everything she wanted. Expensive clothes, shoes, jewelry. Anything. I would find odd jobs and scrap up as much change I could to make her happy. But it was never enough. She'd come home late every night, smelling like sex and alcohol. She'd never be here during the day, except she'll be with her sugar daddies, pimps. Coming home with new shit and money. I'd ask her where she get it from and she'd say none of my business."

"It was a constant thing every day. So that day I seen her in bed with that wanna be thug, I snapped. All I saw was red that night. It was a selfish thing and I'm sorry baby girl. You're right, I should have told you when you got of age. I've just been so ashamed with myself and cruel. Taking your mom away from you. If I could redo that night again, I'd think about you and the future. I hope you forgive me and what I've done. I love you pumpkin. You're the only thing I got a-and..." He started choking up and it almost broke my heart. I've never seen my daddy cry before and it's all because of me.

I went over to him and hugged him. I can never hold a grudge with him. This is my number one man. I'll still be upset with him but I forgive him.

"It's ok daddy. I forgive you. I understand." I told him, letting my tears pour out. He wrapped his arms around me and we stood there for about ten minutes just crying and hugging each other. It felt nice to have all my emotions out; finally express them.

He pulled back and kissed my forehead.

"I will never hide anything from you again baby girl. I promise to God, hand on the bible. I thought you'd never talk to me again. I don't ever want that to happen."

I shook my head, "No daddy, I can never stay mad at you. You're right, we're all we got."

He gave me a small, sad smile. And I returned it.

The rest of the day we just had a father-daughter day. Watching movies, laughing together, anything you could think of. It felt really good because we haven't done this since I was a little girl.

I yawned, "Alright dad, ima go count some black sheep. I got school tomorrow." I said as I stood up, stretching.

I was waiting for a response but I saw it was sleep. I laughed quietly and put my throw on him and went upstairs to my room and got under the covers. I sent my girls and De'Mario a quick text and put it on the charger, then fell into a deep sleep.