in my naïve self, I loved you the most
in my growing self, I hated you the most
in my troubled self, I sympathized with you the most
I've gone most of life blaming you
trying to replace the memories of you
I still remember the night
I took the family photo album out
bawling my eyes out
i looked at pictures of you and i
when i was younger and you were happier
when you looked at tiny me like I was the most precious thing in the world
and i know that you still do
despite being the person I pushed the hardest out of my life
you were still the first person to wish me on my birthday
I capture moments like these
like the person I knew
like the person I want to remember you as
I saw parts of you that only made sense to me once i got older
I saw how troubled you were
the demons that carried you and ate you a whole
I'm sorry for not seeing past my pain
for being so ignorant
but I promise you that one day in a better world
I will get to say to you that you are perfect despite your flaws
and that I'm proud to be yours.
