Tom x Marcy

Thinking, a lot of it [Chapter 3]

Why was I getting butterflies, was it because of Marcy? Haha she was only my friend and at that not even a close friend, there was no need to get such physical-? Mental? I wasn't even sure. That was what I was thinking about the whole way back to my house, a one hour bus ride . With water dripping from the buses dusty and dirty window connecting and making bigger water droplets as the races down the window screen since it was raining for quite a while. Just the same questions repeating and repeating in my head

I eventually made it home and I was exhausted from thinking. Bout Marcy, about the butterflies i got from talking to her. I kicked my shoes off and they hit the wall making a small loud noise but I didn't care. I went up to my room and fell asleep instantly. I never knew thoughts such as those would tire me out that much and plus, i was done thinking about all that nonsense. I woke up still as tired as i was when I went to sleep. I got up and did the usual things i did in the morning, my mind was blank and mainly focusing on food and more sleep as it should be

As I got back into my cosy bed I decided to text in billy's discord, not too surprised there were a bunch of other people talking. I just gradually put in some random messages and just mostly watched. Then a name that brought back every single dumb but confusing thought that was in my head on that one hour bus ride came back, marcymoon. Or well her name was tiny twat on the server but i still recognized her instantly. The butterflies didn't come tho, I was just nervous that day.. Surely-

The conversation went as it should have, smoothly. I was talking a little bit in there and also talking to Marcy as if the feelings and emotions I felt earlier didn't matter. Because they didn't, they were nothing anyway. Man i was an idiot, pure dumb. Still kinda am but whatever. Soon enough billy's chat died so i went on to dming Marcy, she was telling me the fun experiences she's been doing in England. Apparently English tea is different to Asian tea, it tastes nicer but she still prefers her type tea. Which pfft, she's delusional.

The conversation of yesterday which was when we met up came up. I accidentally mentioned the part of the day when her face went pretty red pretty quickly. She immediately spammed me with random letters, but she does it a lot so I was used to it. She said that she thinks she was blushing or something, her face was very warm and also mentioned how the cold breeze of the tiny wind calmed her down and cooled down her face. I asked her if she was embarrassed of some sort, my eyes glued to my computer screen just seeing the previous texts with Marcy and the dark grey shade of discord dark mode with my legs crossed on my chair as i really was curious now that i asked. I didn't mention it on the day so thought and still kinda thought she wouldn't have wanted to talk about but i guess it was a subject she didn't mind discussing

She said she had an overcoming of like some random emotion, kinda anxiety and something else but she thought her vocabulary was too small to be able to express it in the way she wanted to. And that was reasonable enough as there were a lot of emotions I was feeling and didn't know the word for and I felt the same, I didn't tell her but I knew i did. I have quite a large vocabulary and yet i couldn't think of it. I didn't want to google it either because never google symptoms, at all

After she told me about the whole blushing incident i sort of giggled very faintly and quietly. It was kinda funny and so i texted her a laughing emote i had from a server and i called her weird champ. She went back to her usual self, the Marcy i knew and was friends with. But also the person that gave me butterflies and caused me to make my cheeks redder than they've been in a while. It was only her too, i knew something was up. I wasn't as dumb as i thought i was, though took me a while to realize. Why did I discard it for so long, i spent all this time going through the days on summer holiday breaks just thinking about everything and having these emotions. Summer just started it was too early for me to feel anything but hunger and exhaustion

Cause that's what i normally felt anyway, exhaustion and hunger and a little lazy but we don't talk about that, i was glad Marcy felt kind of the same way i did but also not, because that made us sound like we liked each other. But me? Liking Marcy was absurd, crazy, dumb. But this whole story has been in past tense so maybe it wasn't as crazy as my mind made it up to be, maybe it was realistic

Maybe i did like Marcy in that way