A losing plan

Chapter 5

A sharp inhale was your only warning to the world around you that you'd woken up. Your breaths were fast and uncontrolled, your heart thundered inside your chest, and your muscles were tense after a fight that hadn't really happened.

Not again! Damn it! How many more times did you have to dream of that shithole?!

You slowly sat up, running a shaking hand across your face. You hated those dreams more than you hated the flashbacks. They always came when no one was around to wake you from them. A soft sound, however, proved you wrong - you weren't alone tonight.

"You're awake," you murmured, knowing it to be true.

"Hn."

Did that mean you had woken him with your nightmare?

"I'm sorry. It wasn't my intention to wake you," you whispered apologetically.

"I was already awake."

"If you say so."

You wouldn't outright accuse him of lying, but that's still what it sounded like.

"Tell me about it," Heero called out in the dark as if you would - or is that could? - never deny him his answer.

"No," you pushed through gritted teeth, your hands tightly clenching to contain your anger at his cocky order.

"Should I ask nicely then?" Heero shot back and you weren't sure if he was mocking you or not.

"Whether you do or not, it doesn't make any difference."

"Hn."

You stood up and approached his bed. You could barely make out his face - the light from the hallway that seeped in from underneath the door not sufficient enough to do more than that. Heero seemed to be watching you, but you weren't sure.

"Crawl in," Heero eventually voiced and you hesitated.

"You're wounded," you softly stated even though you knew you should outright reject him.

You didn't deny that you wanted nothing more than to crawl in beside him and cling to him as much as you were allowed. However, you knew that giving in and doing so wouldn't be a consequence-free road.

"It wasn't an option," Heero simply stated.

"..."

Heero reached out, his fingers gently wrapping around your wrist. How he managed to find it in the dark room - and that with his first try even - annoyed you. He gently tugged you closer to the bed.

"You wanted me near you. This is the nearest I can be," he pointed out too damn logically.

You knew it was foolish to listen and crawl in with him - even if the bed was large enough to fit you both - yet your resolve was weak and you longed to be close to something warm and real. Denzel was usually the man you went to if your dreams left you too horrified to do much of anything. He would bring you to the small break room and simply sit with you while he drank a cup of terrible coffee. It was a stupid ritual, but it helped.

"I ..."

Another tug on your wrist and you gave up protesting the idea.

You lifted the sheets and slowly crawled in. Your body was at the edge of the bed and your muscles were tense in your fear to bump against one of the many bruises or gashes Heero had. Heero sighed and shifted slightly to the side, allowing you to have even more space should you want it. Then, he slowly coaxed you closer until your head was resting on his shoulder - one of the few zones on his body that wasn't bruised. His warmth seeped into your skin, making you aware of just how cold you were. It wasn't like he was holding you, but at the same time it felt as if you had never felt more secure. Your muscles began relaxing, your mind losing that damnable touch of fear and despair.