The Story of Us

twenty two

I went MIA and skipped school and hid in my apartment. I'm almost eighteen anyway no reason to finish my senior. My phone was shut off, no contact from the outside. I barely ate and I think I lost weight. My house was a mess but I didn't mess with my cats, I was not angry with them.

Last night I had the nightmare again. When will it stop haunting me though? When I was with Elina I rarely had the dream but now she's with someone else and happy. I hated these feelings so I went to my bathroom and open the drawer cabinet and pull out a familiar object. 

Ah blade, my old friend.

Last time I cut myself was during summer and it was when I had the dream every single day. The guilt and digust never left me. I just can't take these bottled feelings anymore.

I sit comfortably in the bathroom floor with only my underwear on and didn't hesitate to cut my inner thigh where battle scars lined up together. I have forgotten how many times I have cut myself and the pain always comforts me. Warm blood flow down my thigh, making its way to the drain and I closed my eyes.

I probably fell asleep because next thing I see when I opened my eyes was Elina, shaking my shoulder.

"Yana?"

"Yana," she repeated, her worried eyes scanned me, her hands caressing my face and asking me if I was alright.

My mind lagged for a bit and it finally hit me that I was half naked.

"Oh fuck," I curse, covering my body with my hands, upset that Elina was here.

"You're more worried that your body is exposed to me than the cut in you thigh?" she huffed, angry. Elina turns off the shower and wraps me in a towel.

She helped me get up but I reject her help and head to my bedroom to change, blood leaving trails on the carpet.

"Yana, talk to me."

"I don't want to," I snort, not really in the mood to talk.

"Can you leave?" I ask, hesitating to change in front of her. She shake her head no and I roll my eyes.

"Why are you even here? How do you know the code?" I grunt as I hide myself from her to put on my clothes.

"You were careless enough to show me the code when I went here last time." Oh great.

"What do you want? Go be with your boyfriend or something."

I didn't dare look at her in the eyes or I would break down all again. My first aid kit was nowhere to be found and she kept following me.

"Seriously stop following me,"

"No,"

"Why?"

"Because I care," care? When did she ever care.

I roll my eyes and finally found the kit under the bed. Before I could open it she grabbed it from me.

"Let me," she offered

"No"

"Why?"

"Are you actually this annoying?" This woman is getting in my nerves.

"Yes for now," she replied, holding my arm and letting me sit on the bed.

"I can handly myself," I groaned, getting upset that she was annoying.

We fight for dominace as I stood and she push me to sit.

"Sit!" she hissed and I don't listen. She was nothing to me now.