Survivor

Chapter 13 - Everything I wanted.

Previously entitled Drowning in Kisses. The title was changed because, quite frankly, I cringed every time I read it. 

Warning for descriptive scenes of rape. H.x 

Severus stared at the Witch who remained in the crumpled heap on the floor. "You don't mind if I have a drink, do you?" 

Hermione shrugged. Severus's cloak tickled the wooden flooring as went to pour himself a drink from a crystal decanter. There he stood by the fire place, with a glass of Ogdens in his hand looking almost regal. Hermione's insides melted and she felt a warmth in her stomach that she hadn't felt while they had been separated. 

It struck her as odd, that Severus Snape, the most moody and unforgiving old git, would welcome her with open arms when she had been nothing but horrid towards him. It only made her feel worse that he was so willing to absolve her. Hermione thought that she deserved to be scorned for her actions.

"Miss Granger, perhaps I was wrong about you." Snape said after a period of him staring into the embers.

"Severus?"

"You really are the brightest witch of your age." The man smirked as he looked at her in his devilish way.

Hermione drew a blank. "I don't understand."

Severus continued, in his eyes Hermione could see the pained expression which was concealed by his goading expression. His eyes were timid, almost as if he was frightened. "You are honest and you do not seek reward or your own personal gain for your actions."

Staring at him incredulously, Hermione didn't know what to do. Her heart sped up and she dug her knuckles into the floorboards to disguise her shaking hands.

"You are beautiful on the inside and on the outside. Don't you see? You are everything a man dreams of." Severus sounded irritated at this point.  "And every man who has ever held the pleasure of knowing you has wronged you, greatly."

The words that came out of Hermione's mouth made her sound naive and immature. Even she cringed. "Except you, Severus."

The way the man held onto his glass of whiskey concerned Hermione, she was scared that his grip was going to cause the glass to shatter. "I have failed you greater than most ."

"What on Earth do you mean?"

"When I signed up to be Potions master of this goddamned school, Dumbledore drilled it into me that it was my responsibility to look after each and every student who ever sought my help. Be they Slytherin or not" 

"I have failed you, Potter and Weasley each and every time you were in danger. Imagine how it felt to see you get escorted into the study at the manor. I had failed you again. I knew what was going to happen and I did nothing." 

"When you lay convalesced in my bed, I was worried that you'd wake up and run. I was concerned there would be some post traumatic effects, depression or what not, and you would no longer be the know-it-all chit who id become accustomed to. Now we are on the verge of war, and yet again I have put you in danger."

Severus collapsed into his arm chair, with enough force to make it squeak backwards a couple of inches. The amber liquid in his glass sloshed dangerously. 

Hermione was outraged. She stood up and crossed her arms defiantly. "Look, can we just agree that we've both been pretty shit to each other over the years? But its hardly the time to focus on that. If I were lay dying in The Great Hall in 2 hours time then I'd be bleeding out and lamenting that fact I'd never told you how I truly feel."

Snape didn't meet her eyes, so Hermione continued. "To reiterate, if you die in this bleeding battle. I will kill you myself Severus Snape. I hate to break it to you, but whether we win or not, I'm not leaving you for all of the galleons in Gringotts."