Survivor

Chapter 17 - Gone But Never Forgotten.

Hermione had been lay in bed, staring at the ceiling anxiously for the past 35 minutes. Today was the day of the funeral, where they would remember those who had died in The Battle of Hogwarts, almost 5 days ago. It was sure to be a highly publicized event. Which did not fill Hermione with the greatest of hope, as having cameras and journalists at a funeral seemed wrong.

She and Severus had been getting on with their lives quite peacefully, in his home in Cokeworth. No one had called upon them, and they lived media free, in the spirit of getting some time to collect themselves. Living with Severus had been easy, almost like a fairy tale. Now she was to be thrown into the public eye again, no doubt.

Severus could be heard making breakfast, in the kitchen downstairs. She supposed she should get up. Although she wasn't feeling very hungry. Today was going to be heavy. Many of her friends had passed and she had yet to acknowledge that.

On the other hand, Severus was anxious because he didn't know how to act. If he appeared stoic and unhinged by the atrocities then it would likely be argued that he was remorseless. But if he broke down and sobbed at the loss of his students, then he would no longer be a man with the pristine reputation of being a cold-hearted bastard. He would be forced to find a middle ground.

The stairs creaked and Hermione entered the room, looking timid. Severus raked his eyes over her from where he sat at the small kitchen table. There was a large pot of tea with mismatched mugs and milk and sugar, as well as a plate of scrambled eggs and toast. Hermione looked pale.

"You look awful." Severus commented, sipping his black coffee.

Hermione took a seat opposite Severus. "Ever the charmer." She said, not meeting the man's eye. She was dressed in a long sleeved black v-neck top and plain black jeans, her hair was tied loosely into a messy bun on her neck.

"At least you don't ever have to worry about me sweet-talking other women." Severus pointed out. He wore his usual black robes, with his hair tied into a meager pony tail with a black ribbon. Hermione would have melted if she had the emotional capacity.

"You raise a fair point." She said, not at all interested in the conversation. She prepared herself a mug of tea, just to do something with her hands.

Severus watched her, his curiosity was getting out of hand. "I can practically hear your over-thinking. What is it?" He said gruffly.

Hermione looked down at her tea. Perhaps she should have taken divination, with all of the tea searching she had done lately. "Is it really a good idea for me to be escorted to the funeral by the Headmaster? What will people think?"

"Are you really that embarrassed to be seen with me?" Severus snorted.

"No! No! Of course not." Hermione stared at the table. "Its just, we've managed to keep our - closeness - a secret for this long and have been fairly successful in avoiding adverse reactions. But now, I don't think we can hide it anymore."

"I think we ought to establish what "It" is before we have this discussion." said Severus plainly.

"You know very well what my feelings are towards you." Hermione defended. "It is time for you to tell me what it is, Severus."

He sighed. His heart was thumping through his chest but his face remained expressionless. "I'm not ready to say those three words." He said after a long time of silence. "But I can admit that I care for you, and that I lust for you." Severus spoke slowly and carefully, treading on eggshells.

Hermione looked up at him for the first time that morning. "I don't expect you to love me back. I had naively hoped that we could form some kind of romantic relationship "