In the Absence of Light

21

Ivy

The sound of Meadowlark fills up the car as we drive into the woods. I've rolled the windows down and opened the sunroof. The wind blows my hair all over the place, but I don't mind. I'm loving the breeze.

Erin and I sing along to the chorus of the song, simultaneously bobbing our heads to the tune. We know this song all too well. It's upbeat but not obnoxiously so. It's still calming, but it feels cheerful, despite the lyrics being relatively somber. They're about waking someone up, to open their eyes to the love around them. It's not a romantic song, though. It's just... hopeful.

I glance over at Erin. She's looking out of the window, watching the trees pass by. I feel like we're in a movie. She's smiling blissfully, enjoying the feel of the breeze on her face. She's showing off her natural curls today. They're cut short, but there's still heaps of them. She usually covers them up with wigs, 'to fit into the white, heterosexual norm', as she calls it. And I can see where she's coming from. I never had to deal with issues like that, so I'll never truly understand, but my family likes to discuss these things, especially my aunts and uncles. They taught me everything I know about politics and activism.

"You're excited, aren't you?" I ask her. She turns towards me, peeking over the top of her sunglasses.

"Definitely," she grins. "Are you?"

"Oh, yeah," I nod. "Days like these are rare."

"Winter hasn't even started yet and I already miss summer."

"Me too. Everything is better in summer."

"The days are longer, the birds are out, there aren't any assignments to worry about..."

"Sometimes it gets a little hot and sweaty, but it's worth it for the extra sunshine."

"I think that's why days like today are so good. The sun is shining, but it's not too hot and not too cold. It's the perfect temperature—a little break from all the cloudy days we've had recently."

We're only in the midst of fall, but it feels like summer was months ago. Winter is just around the corner, and we can feel it coming. It won't be long until it starts raining every day. It might even snow. I hope so. I love a white Christmas.

But today isn't Christmas. Today is sunny, with not a single cloud in sight.

"Today will be a good day," I say. I'm looking forward to it. "I think we're almost there."

The road changes from hardened asphalt to a rough mixture of gravel and dirt. My car shakes as we drive over it. It wasn't made for these surfaces. It was made for urban life—for the suburbs and the city. I'm probably going to have to get it cleaned after this, but it's due for some detailing anyway.

"Oh, I see it!" Erin points forward excitedly, eying the blue water coming up ahead. It's so big, we can easily see it through the trees. These parklands aren't very big, and the lake makes up most of it.

It wasn't my idea to drive out here. It's what Erin wanted, and I wasn't in a position to disagree. I apologised to her for leaving therapy without an explanation and told her all about how weird Isaac had been acting. She was oddly excited about us 'bonding', but I couldn't exactly say that's what it was. He just feels guilty about what happened and wanted to make sure I was okay. I'd probably have done the same for anyone else in similar circumstances. It's not like we're friends now, or anything.

I offered to take Erin out to lunch so we could catch up, but she had a better idea, of course. She's far more organised than I am. She'd already checked the weather and knew a sunny day was coming up. She practically demanded I come to the lake with her. I don't mind, though. I've been stuck inside for too long. It's time I do something fun, something that I actually want to do.