Dear Diary: Shattered Dreams An Omarion Story

Entry # 52

November 8, 2014

Dear Diary,

In the Spring, I have became a fan of newcomer, August Alsina. In 2013, I remember hearing his song , "I Luv This" on the radio. I remember seeing his name all over the place. I never paid attention to him. I'm not into sweating the next hot thing.  At the end of 2013, I heard he had a collaboration with Trey Songz and Chris Brown for the remix. That's when I decided to give him my ear. I also listened to one of his mixtapes, "The Product 2". After reading reviews of him being compared to Chris Brown, I said to myself that unlike him, Omarion couldn't be compared to anyone. I wasn't falling for the hype. My loyalty stood with Omarion and Omarion only.
       After finding out August Alsina had a falling out with Trey Songz, I was curious to know why because they had performed together on top of having a song. In the mist of watching his interview discussing the situation, I began listening to his music and watching other interviews and videos of him. I was on an August Alsina Binge. There was no harm in that. I knew where my loyalty stood. There was no need for me to watch any videos of Omarion since I've seen pretty much all of them. August was something new.
          Over the summer, I had admitted that I had a celebrity crush on August Alsina on my blog. It was evident because I was talking a lot about him a lot. He had become the center of my posts on instagram. I even wrote a poem about him too. I was supposed to see him in September at the Irving Plaza in New York City. I didn't end up going and I'm glad I didn't. He passed out on stage mid performance. I would have wasted my money. Good thing my mom talked me out of it. I remember talking myself out of seeing him before that when a video surfaced of him spazzing on a crowd after a fan took a hat that held sentimental value to him. It was given to him by his now deceased brother who was murdered in 2010. I didn't want to go to a show he stopped.
      I decided to forgive him for stopping a show. I bought tickets to see him at Madison Square Garden in New York City earlier this month. Before buying the tickets, I had put $700 in cash in the bank. I bought two tickets to see him and Usher. A friend told me about it and insisted we go together since she was an Usher fan. Since it made since for us to sit together, I bought them and we agreed that she will pay me back. I spent $419 on the tickets. I didn't want to go to the meet and greet session before the show due to it being $200. If I had only bought one ticket, I would've spent the money on it with no problem. As the show neared and the meet and greet was sold out, I regretted my decision to not buy the ticket. Then I didn't because where was the friend I went with going to stay while I went to the meet and greet? I should have put myself first in that regard. It was important for me to meet those whose talent I respect and had a crush on. I blew it by thinking of others who wouldn't had thought of me had they been in the same boat.
        Anyway, I was so excited to see him. I was talking about my excitement ever since I got the tickets. The friend I went with suggested that we get shirts made with a picture of who we were going to see and their last name on the back. In that case, my shirt would have said "Mrs. Alsina" on the back. I let her know my discomfort with that since Omarion is my #1 and always will be. We never got the shirts made.
         DJ Cassidy opened the show and DJ'd for 30 minutes. August Alsina was also on stage for 30 minutes. He only performed a verse and chorus of each song. Not one song in its entirety but "I Luv This" in the middle of his performance, my friend asked me why he was rushing through his set. After that, I was aware of what he was doing and got upset. When Usher was about to get on stage, I aired my grievances. She argued I wasn't entitled to feel that way since I came to an Usher tour. I argued that it didn't matter because I spent my money to see August and it was a waste. I was done with him. I felt dumb that I was wearing his shirt, cheered and represented him. I no longer cared about how good his voice was. When Usher got on stage, I was still angry to the point where I wasn't hyped anymore. I wanted to cry. I've seen August do better than what he did last night.  I was glad I wasn't in the front row because I probably would have threw something at August. I have good aim so I wouldn't have missed his head. I was so mad I could have cried. I sat in regret all night. I'm still mad.
          I wanted to cry because I could have stayed home. I also realized by going to see August on top of giving him my ear was a huge mistake. I wish I bever bought his shirt or poster before the show. My mind is made. I don't want to see him in concert ever again. I don't want to see his face, nor hear his music  I'm done. I feel like I went too far with this. I no longer feel like a casual fan. Before last night, I didn't regret going to an August Alsina concert. I felt that since Omarion wasn't touring like he should, I will go see someone else who was.I couldn't feel anymore stupid. I  feel like I have jeapordized my loyalty to Omarion. That hurt me to my core. It has me to the point where I don't want to see Jhene next month at the Best Buy Theater in NYC. If Omarion's upcoming album isn't any good, I'm ready to walk away from him too. I'm sick of getting less than I expect.
       

August Alsina at Madison Square Garden in Multimedia.