sleep like a winter bear

-Dumplings-

 "And you know the problems of dating an idol, especially the one from BTS, right?"

"Yah! what are you blabbering? You know I hate dating or can I say, no one would date me"

"Look, I get it that you're really insecure but you should learn to love yourself," Seok Woo says.

Bullshit. Love yourself? Only if I looked pretty and appealing I could love myself. I don't even want to start thinking about myself, that's how much I hate myself, Baek Chae young.

I'm just a nerd who looks like a rotten potato, who's super antisocial, boring af, has a weird name, weird voice, weird taste, and is basically a nuisance. While others are scared of heights, spiders, or ghosts, I'm scared of myself.

I hate taking pictures of myself, scared of talking to others, and I hate myself so much that I usually wear a mask and sunglasses to cover my ugly face.

Well, the only thing I love is- my brain. IQ 146, 4.0 GPA, always got full in maths, cracked all the entrance exams, and is currently the topper of Yonsei University.

Oh! I also hate...KIDS! I just can't stand their stupidity. How do they find a simple sugar candy so fascinating?

I carry my bag and walk to the bus stop with a mask. Looking out of the window, as I usually do, I stare at the Big Hit building and sigh. Placing a hand over my chest, I tell myself, "Baek Chae young, you can do it!"

I want to be a sound and light engineer. Often referred to as an event engineer who is in control of all lighting and sound facilities at a live event to enhance the on-stage shows and performances. In simpler terms, a person who is in charge of the light effects for a music video or concerts.

Big Hit, being the fastest growing company, I always wanted to work there. I don't care about the idols or the fame, the thrill of playing an important role moved me.

I plug in my earphones and play 'heather' by Conan Gray. The song suited me the best. A hot tear runs down my cheek as each line of the song sounded like my inner voice.

Before I could listen to my favorite part, my phone rings. I clench my fists and try not to throw the phone. As I said, anger management issues.

Looking at the random number on the dimly lit screen, I decline the call and increase the volume to listen to the song peacefully.

I close my eyes and lightly tap my feet to the slow beat. I softly sing, "why would you ever kiss me? I'm not-" my phone rings again, the same number on the screen.

I bang the seat, causing the little child next to me to start crying. The mother gives a disgusted look and tries consoling the kid.

As my phone rings, the kid cries louder and this time, the whole bus turns to look at me. 

Irritated, I decide to pick the call. As my finger slides the green call icon, the screen goes blank and continues playing the song, indicating the caller had cut the call.

What a beautiful way to start the day? I hit the replay button and take a deep breath to calm myself. My favorite part plays and determined to enjoy every single word, I quietly sing along, "why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half as prett-"

Voila! my phone rings again, the same unknown number. Infuriated, I pick the call and scream, "Hello! nice talking to you. Thanks, bye!"

"Five plates of dumplings and nothing for Jimin cuz I'm mad at him"

I take a deep breath and try. not. to. scream.

"I don't sell dumplings. Even if I did, I don't think I would be interested in knowing anything about Jiman" I add nonchalantly.

"It's Jimin, not Jiman! Also, the apples were tasty yesterday."

Yes, my guess was right, it's the same lunatic.

"How did you get my phone number?"

"ahh... your manager gave it. He loves the new army light stick. Are you free tomorrow? I want to talk-"

I'll kill Bang Han Gyeol later.

"Sorry, I'll be having a headache this weekend. Thank you, bye."

I cut the call and see the kid giggle at my savage reply. Huh, I know I'm smart! Ok, why is the kid still giggling?

I reach the university and walk to my classroom nervously. Bang Han Gyeol holds me in a headlock and starts singing a Korean song.

(a/n: this is bang han gyeol..... in case u couldn't see his face properly earlier)

"What's with your BTS sweatshirt?" I ask after seeing his hot pink, tacky sweatshirt with Taehyung's meme face printed on it.

"Taehyung is really sweet. He gave this just because I told him what you like."

It's fine, I never had friends. I sigh and twist his arm to escape his clasp. He nudges my shoulder and asks in a squeaky voice, "I know you like him! Who doesn't like him? But the best part is, he likes you!"

Like him? Like Tae? I could never like that lunatic. I'm just a fan of his smile and that's it. He's so off the wall, I wonder if he's an earthling. Like come one, there's a limit of how crazy one can be.

Yesterday, I heard him talk to my brother in a very, very, very weird language. I bet it's his own alien language. Hope he goes back to his planet.

Just imagine, if we date, I would crack a science joke, he would reply in his super familiar language and I would murder him.

"Stop blushing! I know he likes you!" Han Gyeol continues. He suddenly grabs my hand and looks at me with a serious expression.

1...2...3... and he starts laughing. The same silly laugh I heard in the morning.

"Chae Young, you have a huge danger sign sticker on your forehead!"