ƬΉΣ ΛПDЯӨMΣDΛ ƬΉΣӨЯY ∞︎︎ PΛЯLΣY | ✔

ｅｉｇｈｔ： ｉｒｌ ｉｎｔｅｒｖｉｅｗ

june 1st, 2020

peter, in his spiderman suit, waited nervously on the side of the stage. he was set to go on ellen with harley, mj, and ned, and was going to reveal his identity and 3/4 were coming out, 4/4 would be but ned is straight. harley grabbed his hand and squeezed, offering silent comfort.

"and now, let's welcome spiderman, ned leeds, michelle 'mj' jones, and harley keener!" ellen said. they walked out, and then peter swung out, landing in his signature pose. he walked over, flopped down next to mj, and waved. the audience screamed, and harley laughed at him.

"hi! call me mj. you're a badass female, so you can," mj shook ellen's hand, showing emotion for once.

"ned! and oh my god i'm so excited!" ned squeals and ellen laughs.

"harley."

"you all know my hero name, and after the end of this, you'll know my real name, but for now, spidey's fine," peter explains. 

"wait, really?" ned looks at his friend in confusion.

"did you miss that conversation?" spidey turns to ned. 

"apparently!"

"shut up losers," mj scolds.

"i'm not a loser, you're a loser!" spidey pouts and moves away from the girl.

"as funny as this is, we do have a few questions," ellen interjects. the group nods.

"so, what's it like being famous?" she asks.

"weird," harley says after a moment.

"so much fun!" ned shouts. "sorry, i'm really excited."

"interesting," mj states.

"dunno," spiderman shrugs.

"mood," ned mutters.

"ok, next question. sexualities?" ellen questions. the group takes a deep breath. 

"straight, but huge, huge, ally. and i'm slightly gay for the team, but also not, so..." ned trails off.

"aromantic and asexual," mj says confidently.

"gay as fuck," harley smirks and winks at a guy in the front row.

"bi-derman," spidey hits a button on his suit and it changes to the bisexual pride flag. he jumps up, about to swing around, but a glare from pepper in the wings makes him freeze and sink down in his chair.

"mom, i said i was sorry!" he shouts. tony walks onstage and sits next to his son.

"old man, what are you doing?" harley asks.

"sitting her, ya little shit," tony answers. mj smacks her head repeatedly and ned laughs.

"you are all children. i'm going to hang out with pepper. nice meeting you ellen! peace out losers. lemme know how it goes, spidey," mj walks offstage.

"nice meeting you too!" ellen waves by. the host turns to the boys and her mouth falls open at the scene.

ned is asleep, harley is being pinned by spidey's legs, tony is trying to get spidey's mask off and hence pinning him to the couch.

"i just wanna fuck with your hair! c'mon kid, it's gonna happen anyway!" tony shouts.

"nope! it took me forever to get it done right! and then mom made me put the mask on so it's already messed up!" spidey exclaims. harley grabs the edge just as the spider kid swings up to the ceiling, leaving his boyfriend with his mask and the room silent.

"spiderman is peter?!" a fan exclaims.

"uh, hi?"

the entire room explodes with noise.