Checkmate//Spencer Reid

Chapter 5

a/n: this chapter & the last one are about the case from 2x15, if anyone is confused about which one i'm talking about (i tried to make it easy to tell but idk if there's any similar cases later in the show i'm only on s9)

It's been three days. Three days and 17 missed calls. Is he just going to keep ignoring me forever? Is this... it? Are we done? What did I do? I stare out my apartment window. A thin layer of snow coats the ground below me. It's dark outside. What time is it? I look at my phone. 11:42 p.m. and nothing new from Spencer. Suddenly, there's a knock at my door. What the hell? As I walk hesitantly towards the door, the person outside knocks again.

I hear a familiar voice outside. "Kenzie?" His voice is small. He sounds like he's going to cry and I feel like my heart was just ripped from my chest. My hand hovers over the doorknob.

"Kenzie, please."

I open the door and he stands there in silence, staring at the floor. There are tears in his eyes, but he's refusing to let them fall.

"Spence." My voice breaks. I reach for his hand, pulling him into a hug as we cry into each other's shoulders. "Why didn't you call me back? What's going on with you?"

"I- I'm so sorry, Kenzie, I...." his voice trails off.

"Shh, just... just come sit. Can I, uh, get you anything?"

"No, that's okay."

I sit beside him on the sofa and listen quietly as he tells me about the case. He made the decision to split up with his partner while searching a suspect's property and was kidnapped. Drugged, beaten, tortured... God. I don't even know what to say.

"Spence, I-" I can't find the right words.

At that moment, he breaks. Letting out a sob, he collapses. I hold him in my arms, stroking his hair while he clings to me and cries.

"Shh... hey. It's okay. Spence, look at me." He looks up at me, and I know that I'm looking into the eyes of someone truly broken. I wipe the tears from his face. "It's okay. You're safe."

I can't stand seeing him like this. It breaks my heart, and he knows that. He buries his face in my shoulder and we sit like that for what feels like hours. I could stay like this forever, him in my arms, stroking his hair, feeling our heartbeats line up. Suddenly, Spencer pulls away.

"I- I have to go," he says, sniffling and frantically wiping his face.

"But-"

"I have work tomorrow."

"Can't you stay the night?"

"Kenzie, you know I would love to, and you know I love you, but-"

"Woah." Did he just say what I think he just said?

His eyes widen and his face turns red. "I- I didn't- if you're not-"

"I love you too, Spencer Reid."