It was a surreal feeling to gain and lose everything she’d ever wanted at the same time. To have the one she loved standing at her side, holding her hand, and yet also disappearing forever.
“Rose?” the Doctor whispered hoarsely, the impact of the moment not lost on him. He knew how much the other him had just sacrificed, how much he was going to have to sacrifice soon, and he knew how much it must be ripping Rose’s heart in half to watch the TARDIS fade away again… without her.
Brushing away the tears that had slid down her cheeks, she looked back up at him, her doctor, and smiled weakly. “I’m fine.” she said, swallowing the lump in her throat. “I just… I don’t know what to say, Doctor. I’m sorry”
He rested his hands on her arms, rubbing them in a gentle, comforting manner. “I’m still the Doctor. I’m just slightly different. You loved the doctor you first met right? When I was still angry and scared from the Time War?”
Rose turned her head and looked out to the sea for a moment. Bad Wolf Bay. Her life ended and began here far too many times. She took a few moments to take a breath and bury the sudden urge to run way from the beach, afraid that something would happen, afraid that this doctor would suddenly disappear as the other had.
“Rose?” The Doctor’s voice had taken on a desperate, anguished tone that startled her out of her thoughts. She hadn’t known him for being noticeably worried about whether she loved him or not before. It must have been the human instincts inside of him bubbling to the surface.
With complete sincerity, she looked up into his eyes and nodded. “Yes,” she said in a soft, clear voice, “I loved you even back then, Doctor.”
“Oh good,” he said with a small smile, “I wasn’t alone then.”
She couldn’t help but laugh, and then stopped suddenly when she realized that he didn’t share in the moment. He just stood, watching her somberly. There was a small, dull haze of sorrow in his eyes the worried her. “What is it, Doctor?”
The Doctor turned his head and looked to the place the TARDIS had previously been. His single heart tightened as he spoke. “I’m just thinking of what he must be feeling right now.”
“I know, it hurts me too, but” she followed his gaze to the now empty space, trying to sound happy for the Doctor that had just left her behind. “He’ll be all right won’t he? He still has adventures to go on, and Donna will be there. He’ll be fine.”
The Doctor didn’t respond.
“Doctor?” she whispered, the hope in her voice faltering at his silence. “He’ll be find, won’t he?”
“Yeah. Eventually he’ll be fine. He’s always all right. It’s just-“
“Just what, Doctor?” Rose asked finally, when he seemed unwilling to continue his thought.
The Doctor gulped and wrapped his arms around Rose, more for his own comfort than anything else, pressing his cheek to the top of her head. “Like we said, he’s me and I’m him. I know what he has to do. Donna’s mind is burning up. Humans aren’t meant to have Time Lord minds. Your bodies can’t handle it/ She’s dying, Rose, and the only way to save her is to erase her memory of everything that has to do with him… with me… with us. She’ll never remember all the wonderful things she’s seen, or all the people she’s saved, and she can never remember. He’ll be alone again, and the Donna that you met, the Donna that saved his life and his sanity so many times, that helped him to enjoy his adventures again, will only live on in his memories.”
Fresh tears slid down Rose’s cheeks at his words, and she buried he face in his chest as they both cried over the loss of Donna Doble. Soon, they both felt warm arms wrapping around them both as Jackie joined them in the mourning, clinging to each other in silence until the setting sun told them it was time to leave the beach, hopefully for the last time.
