Nightfall (A Carlisle Cullen / Esme Cullen fanfic, 18+)

CHAPTER FIVE: ESME

Springfield, Ohio

The harsh heat of summer had diminished at last, and a sweet, cooling breeze tossed the curls at the nape of my neck as I sank into the rocking chair on the porch. I allowed myself a moment to close my eyes, exhaling slowly and resting my hands across the gentle swelling of my stomach. It had been two months since I'd stumbled across Charles, since I'd known the sharp sting of betrayal, and moments of rest and peace had been seldom since. I'd tried, at first, to forgive him - to tell myself that perhaps the the vows I'd made on our marriage day covered such abuses of my trust - but every time I'd closed my eyes, I'd seen him thrusting into that woman again, and bile had risen in my throat.

Of course he'd been apologetic - had sworn to me that it was all just a terrible mistake, a momentary lapse in judgement, which had nothing to do with us, with how he felt about me. This too, had made me sick - although perhaps it was the child growing inside me that made my stomach clench and heave so often. I wondered if perhaps this child understood the agony and rage that surged through me whenever I thought of Charles' actions, of his lying words and hands - and I prayed that these feelings, the overwhelming anger and sadness, wouldn't warp the child blossoming in my womb.

I hadn't told Charles that I was leaving. I hadn't told him that this wound was one he couldn't repair, no matter how sweetly he tiptoed around me in the days after, no matter how often he whispered that he loved me and it was all a mistake. And I hadn't told him I was carrying his child.

It was about a week after I'd discovered Charles and the woman - Dorothy, she was called - that the doctor had called, just as he'd promised. He'd taken one look at my wan face, and had seen the misery there. And though I hadn't meant to, though this doctor was little more than a stranger to me, I had found myself telling him what had happened. The whole truth - that it had been weeks since I'd slept properly, due to the babe I had just found out I was bearing, that Charles had lost his job and left us nigh on penniless save for my meager earnings, and that while I'd pushed myself day by day to keep us going, he'd been betraying every last one of our marriage vows. It had poured from me, as though in sharing with this stranger, I could exorcise the pain and nausea that had consumed me.

But though the weight of my emotion hadn't, in the end, been eased, the doctor had been able to provide a solution - a way out, that I might not have dared to take if I hadn't felt so desperately in need of an escape. He'd listened quietly while I'd wept, and I saw when I finally stopped that I'd made him uncomfortable. The young doctor - whose name, he'd finally told me, was Martin Smith - had had no advice or support to give regarding the state of my marriage. But he'd been concerned when I described the viciousness of my nausea - how the roiling in my gut had been ceaseless, stopping me from sleep, and preventing me from returning to work. And the next day, when I'd visited his offices, and after he'd conducted a number of tests, he'd sat down knee-to-knee with me, and offered a way out.

"Mrs Evenson," he'd started. "I'm so glad you've come to see me today. I have some mixed news to give you, and I hope you'll forgive me if I'm blunt."

I'd nodded, shakily.

"Well firstly, I can confirm you are indeed pregnant! About three months along, I'd say - you should start to notice changes in your shape soon. Congratulations. However, I am - very concerned about the illness you've been experiencing. It's normal for a woman to experience some sickness, some exhaustion - you are, after all, growing a human inside you. That's hard work, and naturally takes its toll. However, your symptoms are - severe. It's my professional opinion that the stress you're experiencing at home is - detrimental to your health, and could harm the child if not managed. Do you think that it will be possible at home to reduce the stress you're under?"