Nightfall (A Carlisle Cullen / Esme Cullen fanfic, 18+)

CHAPTER THREE: ESME

I didn't have time to tell Charles the next morning - I awoke, as I had earlier in the week, to an upset stomach in a house that was already baking hot, and no sooner had I stumbled out of the room to be sick than I realised I was running late for school. The sunlight, blazing through the windows and displaying the miniscule dust motes that hung in the air like fragments of sand, was a firey white - too hot, too bright to be early morning as I'd first thought. I looked around the room, still half-asleep, and recognised with a gasp that the shadows in the room were shorter by far than they would normally appear on waking - I must be hours behind schedule.

Without another thought I raced back to our room, where Charles lay spread-eagled on the bed, the light sheet covering only one of his legs. He groaned at the noise as I bustled into the room, and I whispered a quick apology, but didn't pause as I yanked out my hot dress from yesterday and tugged it over my head. It was still dusty, and already far too hot, but there was simply nothing else to wear - in my excitement last night, I'd quite forgotten to wash my summer garments, and they would be worse by far than this. At least the black fabric hid the sweat marks, I thought grimly.

I stooped to drop a kiss onto Charles' forehead before gathering my heavy pile of books and rushing from the room. Thankfully I wasn't needed today until late morning, but  even then, I'd be cutting it fine. As I hurried through the streets, the books balanced precariously in one arm, I reached up with the other and attempted to pull my long dark hair into some semblance of order. I was sure I looked frightful - I  hadn't even paused to  look in the mirror  this morning, and I knew I'd tossed around in bed enough last night that my hair would be in knots. Hopefully I'd have a moment  to compose myself when I reached the school.

As I raced up the road, I couldn't help but marvel at the difference I felt in less than a day - yesterday  as I'd rushed home through the heat, I'd been focused only on my own discomfort, and on the irrelevant needs of the  day. Today, though I was puffing with exertion and knew I looked a far sight worse than I had yesterday, I couldn't fight the  feeling of  elation blossoming inside me. It just... didn't matter, I thought, smiling widely to myself. It  didn't matter that I was hot already, that my dress was scratchy and starting to smell, or that the books were digging into my hip as I half-jogged up the lane. The news Mary had shared with me had changed my outlook completely. If Charles had been here with me, I was sure I would have kissed him, right here in the open!

As I neared the school, though, I couldn't help coming back to awareness of my state, and as I passed through the narrow wooden gate, I closed my eyes in thanks that lessons had already started, and the children were inside. The school was humble - only three worn-out classrooms into which over a hundred children piled every day. There were fewer jobs these days - God knew Charles and I were aware of  that - and I knew I  was lucky to have  secured my position here. So before ducking into the back of the class, and waiting until Maude had finished with her lesson, I sidled up to the window and glanced at my reflection. The face that looked back at me made me leap back in surprise - I looked much worse than I'd imagined! My skin was pallid and white, and long knotted locks falling out from the messy bun I'd pulled in my hair into. I took a moment to breathe, then reached back and pulled my hair down, combing it through with my fingers and re-plaiting it before pinning it up into place. I knew there was no fixing my dress at this  stage - I would just have to hope that none of the other teachers came close enough to smell me. Smoothing my skirt gently over my stomach, I took another deep breath and entered the classroom.

No one seemed to notice as I tiptoed into the back of the stifling room - Maude was standing at the front in another crisp and clean summer dress, her tidy blonde hair pulled away from her face. She had directed a question to one of the students near the front of the class, and everyone's attention seemed to be focused on them - I sighed in appreciation, glad that I had indeed made it here with some time to spare, and leaned against the back wall, running through the upcoming lesson in my head. In all the excitement of the last 24 hours, I hadn't prepared for it!