For the Empire - Inganno

Chapter 48

I can't stop the damn tears from flowing even after I showered. I hate that I cry when I'm angry, it makes me feel weak.

I get dressed quickly and french braid my hair, not wanting it down or in my face today. I expected to find JP still in my room, but he wasn't. His shirt is gone from the floor, and my bed is made.

I check my phone, thinking maybe he left me a text message, but then I remember he doesn't have my new number.

It's nearly lunchtime, and I head to the kitchen to grab something to eat. Carmela is in there, as usual, prepping for lunch. She looks up from cutting vegetables as I walk in.

"You give us scare this morning, dolcezza. John Paul running around like a madman, he ordered men check grounds for you. Where you run off to, cara?"

I sigh heavily and sit at the counter. "I slept in my dad's old room last night."

"Perche?" (Why?)

"Because I was mad at JP... He came home drunk, stumbling in my room. He scared me; I could have shot him, Carmela. And then he wanted to...to be intimate, but he was so drunk. I didn't want my first time to feel like I was with a stranger.

But the worst part was when his phone buzzed, and it was from a woman, Victoria. He went out with her last night, apparently." I start to tear up and push my hands up against my eyes, not wanting them to fall.

Carmela wraps her arms around me, and I cry onto her shoulder. "No excuse, his behavior, mi amore. I disappointed in his choices. But he loves you; he always has, cara. He feel badly on his own for what he did.

Don't let moment of misunderstanding, poison what you are—make you forget all lovely moments together." She rubs my arms soothingly. "You strong and I proud you tell him how you feel when you feel it. He will listen."

I smile at her. "Thank you, Carmela." She hugs me tightly again and goes back to cutting vegetables. "Can I help you?" I ask. She nods and pulls out another cutting board, and has me cut some meat. I sort of expected and hoped JP would have wandered in during lunch, but he didn't.

My mind starts racing, and then I start to second guess myself; maybe I overreacted? Maybe I need to apologize to him? I'm wandering back downstairs when my Uncle walks in the front door.

"Charmaine, can you come to my office, please?" I nod and follow him silently down the hall. He waits for me to go in first, then follows, closing the door.

I sit on the leather couch, and he sits in the chair next to it. "Is everything okay with you and John Paul?"

I play with the hem of my sweatshirt. Not sure how to answer his question.

"I know it's none of my business, but I know how he feels about you, and I see how you are around him too. So it's only natural that something other than friendship would develop between you too.

I had a feeling something would happen sooner or later between you two. But...adding physical intimacy to the equation... can sometimes complicate things."

I look up at him quickly, hoping he's not seriously going to have "the talk" with me. I can see he's fighting to look composed, but he seems just as uncomfortable as I do.

"No, Uncle, we haven't—well, I mean we have—but...we haven't...we haven't had sex!" I blurt out, and his eyes widen at my honesty.

I sink into the couch as far as I can make myself go, not looking at him. Then, finally, I hear him clear his throat, and he takes a deep breath.