Jealous / Woosan

Ch. 22

Wooyoung POV ~

I felt myself getting carried to our resting areas, inside our tents. I knew it was San even though I was half asleep; I could tell by the way gentle hands combed through my hair and strong arms holding me up, along with his perfume he always wore. I've never seen him use a different one since the day I told him I liked the smell of that one certain bottle.

I was slowly drifting off into dreamland, blankets covering me, warmth enveloping my whole body, calming me immediately, except for that unreachable area, like an endless pit, deep within me. Even though I wasn't the smartest, I had slowly began to figure out why I was feeling the way I was.

Why did I tell San I didn't know the reason of breaking down? No, why did I lie to myself about not knowing anything, pretending to be oblivious to my own feelings that were screaming out at me, waiting to be acknowledged. I felt completely lost and struggled, like a fly trapped in the webs of a spider, unknowingly dipping itself in danger. I didn't want to face the danger, or harsh wake up call, of rejection, catching me in the webs of doubt and the daunting thought of my . . . my love not being reciprocated.

At that moment, I heard footsteps approaching, opening our tent. I pretended to sleep and listened to what they were saying, I promise I'm not a stalker . . . A voice spoke up and I made it out to be Mingi's in my sleep muddled brain, "Hey San, can we talk for a bit?"

With the mention of his name, I listened more intently, waiting for his reply, "Yes?" It sounded more like a question then affirmation.

"Good, because I wasn't going to take no as an answer anyways, let's go somewhere else" Mingi whispered, probably thinking I was asleep.

Another voice spoke up, making it out to be Yunho's, "Here, it's getting pretty cold, you'll need it" I hear rustling, it must be a jacket, ahh of course, Yunho was always so caring. It reminds me of the time I had ran to him breaking down further and further until he comforted me. I willed my embarrassment to go away, calming myself remembering that they think I'm asleep.

I debated on following them like a stalker, or staying behind and actually sleep. I chose the second option, for now.

I lay with my eyes closed, the sleepiness from before somehow gone, evaporating just like how I want my feelings to. At least 10 minutes must've passed, sigh. I stand up and stretch for a while, before looking at my surroundings. The tent is pretty spacious actually, enough room for two people to comfortably sleep and move around without much difficulty. I walk out and check how the others are doing.

I went around checking who was with who, Yeosang with Jongho, an empty tent which must be Mingi and Yunho's, then there was one where light was illuminating the inside and the material of the tent, Seonghwa and Hongjoong must still be up. I paced around for a minute before deciding on going back to my area, but my curiosity got the best of me, contemplating if I should go check out what San, Mingi, and Yunho were doing.

I decided on going after them. But before I could leave, Seonghwa opened his tent and looked at me.

"Where are you going?" Seonghwa asked curiously.

"Oh, umm, San left his phone behind and I wanted to give it back to him, but I don't know where he is" I said lying.

With a doubtful look, like he knew he was lying, he pointed in the direction he went, "He was with Mingi and Yunho too, they went in the direction of the lake"

"Oh ok, I'll be going then, thank you" I said walking away, but was stopped. "Wait!" Seonghwa yelled, catching my attention. "If you're gonna go, then take your blanket since there's no more jackets left and I don't want you to freeze out there" He said sternly, but I knew he was just caring about me.

"Alright mom" I laughed out and went to grab my blanket while Seonghwa chuckled and went back into his tent after he made sure that I did grab it.

I began to walk towards the lake, it wasn't far away, about 5 minutes walk, but I had already wasted 20 minutes pretending to sleep and deciding if I should come. I actually started to get tired and wrapped myself in the blankets, stumbling around slightly until I saw three figures come into view. I tried my best to listen, only catching a few phrases here and there, "I'll tell him soon" I hear San say. Tell who soon, tell what? "I'm absolutely sure both of you feel the same way, so don't worry too much, okay?" I hear Yunho say. What are they even talking about? I felt too tired at that moment, feeling myself drift out of consciousness. I stepped on something, making a snapping sound, but I was too tired to care and felt myself drooping down. I heard voices getting closer, and I dropped to the ground, tired of standing and wanting to just rest and take a break from everything.

It's probably because I haven't been able to sleep for the past week, always waking up in the middle of the night by the storm of emotions and feelings raging inside of my chest. Thinking about a certain someone, wishing I would be able to be honest to myself. Always laying on my bed trying to sleep, but giving up and scrolling through my camera roll, looking at the one that was causing me to lose sleep and go insane.

I heard voices, but I couldn't make out their words, swirling and mixing together, instead, I drifted off completely after I felt the familiar feeling of strong arms lifting me up, carrying me gently but securely. I felt safe and wished it could be like this forever, me in his arms, but perhaps something could be a bit different. That something being the love I wish I could show him, knowing that he feels the same, but that's just a dream.

But they say that certain dreams do come true.

~

He's just sleeping btw, nothing bad happened . . . 💕