Re-upload from my old page.
Middle Child- The 2nd in a family of 3 children, but in this case the 3rd in a family of 5.
As the oldest child is special to the parents for being the first, and the youngest child is special for being the baby of the f...
“It’s so nice to see, all the folks you love together, sittin’ and talkin bout, all the things that’s been going down, it’s been a long, long time, since we had a chance to get together, nobody knows the next time we’ll see each other, maybe years and years from now, family reunion, (got to have) a family reunion, family reunion, it’s so nice, to come together, to get together” -The o’Jays
5 months later, April…
“SASHA COME ON! My goodness by the time you come down our graduation will be over!” June called out to me from the hallway. I rolled my eyes at his dramatics as I grabbed my purse as well as the bag that covered my cap and gown as I took one last look at myself in the mirror before turning everything off and grabbing my keys on the way out. He acting like the students don’t have to assemble an hour before the ceremony even starts. I’m actually early, but June is a stickler for punctuality. He considers ten minutes early as on- time and if you’re ‘on-time’ you’re actually five minutes late.
I understand he’s just really excited for today, the day we’ve all been waiting for. Our high school graduation. It took a lot to get to this day and I’m finally glad it’s here. I got accepted into my dream school, so this summer I’ll be traveling with June on his “Food Tour” before we ultimately pack up to move to DC, where I’ll be an incoming freshman at Howard University, and June will be a student at the culinary institute. We both found out we got accepted at the same time and we were so happy we had a small party to celebrate.
So much has happened since everything went down with my Dad. I found out soon after that my Mom kicked my Dad out until he got his “shit together”, well that’s how June put it when he was giving me the rundown of what happened later that night when he came to check on me. Also, the very next day Mama put me in some therapy sessions, which I’m really grateful for because I do think I needed to talk to someone, someone other than a family member or close friend to listen to me and give me psychological insight of my issues, not just kind and soothing words to help me get through what I was going through. I was able to learn so much about myself even more, and I felt so comfortable being able to talk to someone without fear of judgement and ridicule, or not worrying about getting in trouble or offending anyone for feeling the way I felt.
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My therapist, Dr. Brown is very cool and down to earth, and her voice is like rich, warm syrup, it just makes you feel so safe and calm, and like everything is going to be alright, and that my very existence is the greatest gift on earth. So, it doesn’t feel like I’m talking to a shrink, it really just feels like I’m talking to my very wise aunt. Also, it doesn’t feel like she’s trying to analyze me. It just feels like we’re having a normal conversation.
Three months into my sessions, Dr. Brown felt that it was time to include my mother into my sessions, because as I continued to heal, she felt that my Mom needed to come in so she could get to know the person I was, so she could understand the person I was becoming. We shared a lot of tears, a lot of yelling, because of the sessions Dr. Brown really expounded on how angry I was at my parents, and how they made me feel, as well as that level of resentment I didn’t realize I was harboring because I was masking it with my nonchalant demeanor. In essence, in me trying to be so strong and pretending that parts of my life didn’t bother or affect me, it was creating an underlying layer of resentment that was just as strong as my nonchalance, if not stronger. As a result, it felt like we had taken ten steps back. For a few days, tensions were high, and the silent treatment was strong, but after a few sessions we were able to sit and talk to one another, correctly unpack those emotions and get to the root of the issue, and in the end, we were both able to see just how I really felt and how dynamic the impact was to my coming up, as well as who I am today. We were able to get to know each other on an even deeper level and for the first time, I was truly able to feel that mother-daughter bond I had always felt with Mommy, with my mother.
