The Royal Picking

Bottomless Pit

Use this extra time wisely. I laid in bed watching the sunlight hit the hardwood floor of our small room. It lit up the dark planks that reflected the light back into my eyes. I squinted, trying hard not to be blinded by the sun. I had been laying like this for a couple hours now. I knew it was too early in the morning because Hollee hadn't come knocking on our door to make sure I was up in time for breakfast.

Also, Peyra had been lying on her side, her back to me, with the covers raised high up to her neck. The cover rose and fell as she breathed in and out in her deep sleep. Red strands flew out around her head, her hair still in the ponytail she had since yesterday. I thought about my own hair, wondering just how over the place it must be right now. I sighed, thankful that I was able to take a shower last night.

Ovisia had brought us down to where the showers were. The floor was tiled and cold against our bare feet as we entered the room. There were five showers sectioned away only by cream colored curtains. We were given towels and soap to bring with us that we found in our closets. The water was warm against my back and I let the stream wash away my worries, concerns, and anything else that was bothering me.

I tried to push back the thoughts of father, Kailan and Ermes to the back of my head. Knowing I would finally have to move on, holding on to them won't do anything, but hold me back. From what? I don't know. What is my goal here? Obviously: wake up, eat, hope to not embarrass myself or step on anyone's toes. But, what is my ultimate goal? To make friends? To win? To be Queen? Then, what?!

I don't know the first thing about ruling a kingdom. I barely knew how to work my own family problems out, how can I work out the problems of hundreds of people? My head starts to hurt from just thinking about how stressful all of this would be. Is it really worth it? How important is being Queen to me?

My eyes fall upon a sleeping Peyra once again. I wonder how important being Queen is to her. The last time we talked, she didn't know if she wanted to be here. But, even I know the truth behind that statement. What about the other girls?! Are they really willing to give everything up for a pretty crown, a beautiful dress, and a shiny castle? Is it for the respect they could earn? The admiration and idolization of those who weren't picked or didn't even make it as far? Maybe it's to find love through all of this?

I scoff at the idea that they came for love. I immediately scratch it out of my head. Maybe it's just all they know, all they were raised to be? What was I raised to be? Father didn't do an amazing job supporting our dreams and aspirations in life. Hollee's the only one out of the three of us to even think about what she would do with her life. Kai is content in the mines with Father, so he doesn't care and I- And I. Well, I never even thought about it.

I live for today, I have no time for dreams and have no plans for my future. I would be fine with taking care of Father for the rest of my life. But, is that really all that I'm worth? All of you have worth.....Whether you know it or not. Counsel Tyhen had said that to us the night we arrived and I felt his eyes burn right through mine, burning two holes through my head. I sigh again, hating to have my head bouncing with thoughts again.

The room is completely silent, deafening silent even. I was waiting for the day to start, eager to do something, anything, to get my mind off of everything. Once again I had a sleepless night and ended up staying up til the sun rose. I wish my mind had an off button. Sometimes I think it likes to toy with me, giving me headaches and pains, as a way to get back at me for not listening to it. I close my eyes, trying to get at least a little sleep before the day starts. Only a few seconds pass before I can hear the hall erupt in chatter. I sigh, my eyes still closed. Though the walls to our room does a good job muffling the actual loudness of the girls I can still hear most of it. Their feets clicking against the floor, doors closing and locking, and giggles and chatter.