Things still look bleak with another year passed but I'll hold on to small hopes. Try to treasure the moments that are grand in the way that they aren't. Those moments will be the ones I'm really smiling in until they become another memory I love.
I haven't changed much mental health wise, maybe a little at least but I'm still a long way away from escaping the voice in my head who talks negatively. My journey to helping myself isn't dependent on someone else, it isn't being in a relationship, trying to get love from another.
It's feeling loved myself, treating myself with care and kindness. Rid of the toxic thoughts that plague me, making the anxiety only a minor problem and then not one at all.
Once I feel I'm not nothing I can truly move on. I still hold onto the past and I need to let go, maybe I won't ever be able to let go but I can ignore it.
Focus on who I am in the present, open myself up to the people I push away.
I might not achieve self-love right away or at all but my sister was able to do it and I'll use that as my motivation. For all the trouble we throw at each other we understand the punches thrown at us throughout our lives.
We have times where we be someone to lean on. Of course she's been my rock more than I've been her's, maybe she hasn't had to lean on me and good job for her.
My sister is strong, sarcastic, mean most of the time but I love her and wouldn't want anyone else as my big sister. We don't get along 100% but I hope to change that with many other things.
One more thing I hope for is my ex-best friend to live happy and without too many hardships. I hope when you face trouble you push through Sam. I genuinely mean this.
