Delirium - P.JS

5

suni
i was pretending to be asleep whilst waiting for jay to see if he would say anything.
2:00am
"suni?" i heard jay calling my name.
( i hear u calling my name~ jk)
"oh hi jay" i said pretending like i just woke up.
"how was your day?" he asked.
"it was fine but.. something is just making me feel uneasy." i said while he just stared.
"what is it that made you feel that?" he asked.
"you." i told him while i stared at him without removing eye contact.
"me?" he asked unbothered.
"jay. I know something is off, and you're not telling me anything." i told him.
"suni I don't think i will ever have the courage to tell you." jay told me.
"well i don't care so just tell me and i'll be unbothered!" i raised my voice out of impatience.
"fine." he said and took a deep breathe.
"I think you are aware that I am just a guardian right?" i nodded.
"we guardians are given 3 tasks only. those three tasks are meant to be full filled, amd not to be broken." i hummed in a way of saying yes.
"the first task is to accompany our designated person.
the second task is to follow guarding the rules.
and the last task is to have no relationship or whatsoever with the person you are guarding in your current lifetime. yes we can be friends, but none more than that."
jay said.
"oh." that's all that i could say.
"but recently I've started to realize that I genuinely like you. I have a feeling you like me too. this has been also the reason I didn't want to get attached to you. because i fear pain. and as of now I feel it already. but I am trying my very best to remain happy because this is my job and this is what I was given in this lifetime."
jay said while rubbing my back as a sign of comfort.
i couldn't speak or react. i just sat there staring at the ground while tears dropped so effortlessly from my eyes.
"and also there's one more thing.." jay said while he removed his hand from my back.
"we guardians aren't allowed to love or feel love. but they found out that i felt it. i actually felt love, it felt so great while it lasted. i felt it when i was with you and it was the best feeling ever. sadly they found out, and guess what? they took my heart." he chuckled but pain was evident in his voice.
"they actually removed my heart. I can still feel emotions. but I don't know if i can still feel love or if i can actually love." and my voice suddenly cracked out of nowhere. i cried because it was very painful for me.
i couldn't process anything properly right now but all i felt was guilt and pain.

authors perspective
she thought of an idea.
"i love you jay." she said and hugged him.
"that won't work suni." jay said crying.
"jay please! i love you! please!" she yelled.
"suni please! you're tiring yourself, it's no use!" jay defended.
"no! i won't give up! because i love you! please jay! please! i know you're strong! please try! try! for me atleast!" she kept yelling while hugging jay.
"suni please, seeing you like this is hurting me. but no matter what you do nothing can change it."
"jay! i love you! come on jay! don't give up easily!" she yelled more.
jay hugged the girl infront of him and whispered.
"i love you suni. i can't feel it but i know it. i hope you'll be better of without me." he said and slowly let go. he sat there and smiled at her while a tear dropped fro, his eye.
suni just sat there clueless and stuttering.
"w-what? i dont understand? what's happening? jay! jay what's happening?" she shaked jay whilst jay was silent the whole time.
until she noticed jays shoulder was slowly fading and she gasped.
she hugged jay and was breathing hard.
"no jay. this can't happen. please. jay." she said while crying.
umtil only little was left of jay and he whispered once more.
"i love you my dearest suni." and poof.
nothing of jay was left.
not a single bit.
"NO!" she yelled out in pain.
pure pain was evident in her voice.
she kept yelling while crying, her voice cracking often.
"jay! comeback! where are you! please jay! i don't know what to do without you! jay please!" it wasn't even 3:00am yet but jay was nowhere to be seen.
after a few hours of crying she fell asleep with everything in a mess.
poor girl.