blue eyes like blue skies<3 ~l.s

chapter 11

A month later, Louis had finally coaxed Harry into spending the night with him, promising him Chinese takeaway, movies, and lots of cuddles-nothing more, nothing to worry about. Harry knew what he was referring to, and appreciated Louis' effort to keep things going slow and comfortable with Harry. From the day of their picnic, Harry was sure he wanted to take things one step at a time, not rush anything he had with Louis. Only recently had he began thinking that maybe he was ready for more, to be with Louis in a more intimate way. He knew Louis was ready, probably had been ready since their first date but was perfectly fine waiting for Harry to get comfortable.

The two of them were cuddled up close on Louis' bed having a Spiderman marathon, already in their pajamas. All evening they had been equal parts watching the movies and ignoring the TV in favor of kissing. They kissed heatedly as a fight scene raged on the screen in front of them. All Harry could focus on was how Louis tasted of potstickers and soy sauce. Louis slowed down and disconnected their lips, pecking his cheeks a few times before turning back to the movie. Harry suspected he stopped because he was just starting to get a little too hot and bothered by the way Louis kept fidgeting his hips, presumably to adjust himself. He understood and smiled at the gesture, curious as to what would happen if he asked Louis for more right now out of nowhere. He opted to wait for a bit, maybe even another day.

The end credits rolled half an hour later, and Louis turned to Harry. "Ready to go to sleep, sweetheart?"

Harry nodded tiredly up at Louis, scooting down in his bed to rest his head.

Louis flicked off the TV and his bedside lamp, twisting around to face Harry. "Goodnight, love, sleep well," Louis whispered.

"Goodnight, Lou, sweet dreams."

Harry fell asleep with his legs tangled with Louis' and a warm arm around his waist, his face pressed to Louis' chest. His dreams weren't as peaceful, memories reenacting themselves in his subconscious.

"Through here, H, come on," Derek instructed, pulling Harry through a dark hallway, the pounding music still audible. They were in the back room of a club, Derek's friends still downing shots in the main room. No one noticed him and Harry disengaging from the crowd and wandering off.

Derek pushed him through the doorway of a tiny, grimy bathroom. Phone numbers and messages were scribbled all over the walls and the toilet and sink were rusted over. Joints and condom wrapper littered the floor, the small cupboard filled with a nearly unbearable smell.

"I don't like this, babe, can we leave?" Harry attempted, not having much hope of his plea being received by his boyfriend's coke-muddled mind. Harry felt the dread twisting like a knife in his stomach; he knew how horny Derek got after he'd been drinking.

"We're gonna have fun, Harry," he said, covering Harry's mouth with his own in a sloppy kiss. His hands traveled to Harry's bum, groping him aggressively. Harry could feel his boner pressing into his hip.

Derek made quick work of undoing Harry's pants, pushing them past his bum and undoing his own pants. He grasped Harry's jaw, pushing his fingers in Harry's mouth. Harry sucked on his fingers, his lips shaking in anxiety.

As soon as he removed his fingers, Derek immediately replaced his mouth on Harry's, licking in heatedly while his fingers were brought down to his backside. Harry felt two fingers pushed roughly into his tense body, trying to turn his mouth away from Derek's.

"Stop, babe, I really don't want to tonight," he tried, wincing at the intrusion. Derek kissed at his neck, ignoring his protest. "Please, Derek, I'm still sore from before we left."

"Stop talking, H, I'm making you feel good, you should be grateful," Derek smirked at him, twisting three fingers inside the boy in front of him.

Harry felt helpless and in pain, unaware of what he should do. "Can you please use a condom this time?" he asked in a small voice.

Derek snorted. "Don't have one, baby. Turn around for me."

Harry turned, his bum facing Derek as he heard his boyfriend spitting on his hand and jerking himself off a bit before taking Harry by surprise and pushing in all at once.

"Stop it, Derek, I'm serious. It hurts!" Harry cried, much louder this time. Tears streamed down his face as he felt the person who was supposed to love him causing him pain, taking and taking and taking without pausing to think about Harry's state.

A hand covered his mouth and he felt warm breath by his neck. "Dammit, Harry, be quiet. Someone's gonna think you're getting raped in here."

Harry woke up, twisted in Louis' sheets and his hair plastered to his forehead. He was breathing loudly, trying to figure out what was happening. He felt someone shift next to him and he seized up, his ex-boyfriend still on his mind.

He slowly let his muscles relax, thoughts of his movie night with Louis drifting through his head.

"Hazza?" a soft voice said, causing Harry to flinch. Louis sat up and flicked on the lamp. "Sweetheart, is something wrong?"

He took in Harry's face, eyes wild and forehead slick. Harry looked at him, feeling leftover tears fall down his face. He roughly wiped at them, unaware he was even crying.

"Uhm," Harry began, his voice raspy. He cleared his throat and began again. "Just, uh, bad dream," he explained shakily.

Louis stared at him with concern. "It's okay, love, you're fine," he whispered, grabbing Harry's sweaty hand in his own. "Was it... was it about him? Derek?"

Harry bit his lip and tried not to cry as he nodded, feeling so embarrassed for waking Louis up like this.

Louis kissed his cheek gently, pressing his nose into his temple. "I'm sorry, angel. It's all gone, yeah?"

"Yeah," Harry breathed out, trying to steady his pounding heart.

Louis pulled away and placed the back of his hand to Harry's forehead. "You're really hot, Hazza, let me get you some water, okay?" he asked, already getting out of bed.

He pulled the sheets off Harry and tugged off his pajama pants, leaving him in his briefs. "I'll be right back."

He returned shortly with a glass of water and the scarf Harry had worn when he arrived but had discarded before bed.

"Sit up for me, love," Louis told him quietly. Harry was handed a glass of water which he took a long sip of before placing it on the nightstand. "Lean forward a bit, please," Louis said. Harry did so and closed his eyes, feeling Louis' quick hands gathering up his sweaty hair and tying it back for him.

"Is that good? Too tight?" Louis asked patiently.

"No, Lou, it's fine. Thank you," he replied, giving Louis a grateful look.

"Of course, honey. Come here," Louis said, pulling Harry to his lap.

All of a sudden, Harry jerked his head up, looking at Louis in earnest. "Lou? I love you."

Louis stared back at him, frozen for a moment before snapping out of it and pulling Harry to his chest.

"I love you, too, Harry. So, so much," Louis promised. When was the last time Derek told him that unironically?

Louis held him close and rubbed his back, whispering sweet things to calm him down. "Relax, Hazza, you can breathe easy now." Louis leaned in close and kissed around his ear before whispering, "My precious love."

Harry pulled back and looked at Louis with big, innocent eyes. "Lou, do you want me?"

Louis furrowed his eyebrows at the question. "Uh... yeah, Hazza, of course. How do you mean?"

"Would you fuck me right now?"