When I get home a week later, and the house is empty. I take the opportunity to take as many biscuits as I want from the jar. I walk blindly to my room, with my hands full of biscuits.
I flop onto my bed and recount how many got Steeled this month. 8. I recite each and every name in my head;
Jamie
Sarah
Megan
Alex
Gareth
Jace
Phil
Joey
I used to recite their Dates, but now I just record it in a book I keep taped to the bottom of my bed. The book has every Steeled person's name, Date and age. I have kept a record since I was 12 and my best friend, Layla was Dated and Steeled. I have never missed a Steel since.
Before that, I had never given it much thought. It was just what happened. People were there, then something happened and then you never saw them again.
But when Layla got Dated, my dad had to explain what really happened. And little 12 year old me decided that she hated the Straws.
I remember going to her Steel and asking my dad if I could go with her, to protect her. He gave me a sad smile and told me that she wouldn't need protecting. She was going to become something that we needed to be protected from.
I asked him if I would be as sad as I was for the rest of my life. He told ne that I would forget about Layla eventually, that I had to in order to keep going. It's what everyone has to do in the end. No one wants to, but with a fate as horrible as their lost ones had, you force yourself to.
That's when I decided to make a book for everyone who got Dated. So even when they pushed away the memories of the people who they lost. There would still be someone that would think about them. Every day.
I know now that that was silly. No one really forgets. How could they? But I still have the book. Just incase someone is forgotten.
You'd think that my thinking about so many dead people all thr time would make me an extremely depressed person. In reality, (and these are Mary's words, not mine) I am just a really angry person. Mary says it's not in a bad way, and it's not obvious all the time but it's there.
I don't feel angry but I guess you don't always look how you feel.
Hi!
In case you were confused, this is a real update. I just fixed some typos and added a little because I didn't think this Chapter was as good as it could be. I know that at the moment I only have a few views, and that no one is reading this. Vut my realism is happily coupled with optimism. If you are reading this, I hope you are enjoying this so far. Let me know in the comment section!
I should update again later tonight or tomorrow evening. I plan to update almost everyday with short chapters.
- Zoey Day
