I watched as Flora puckered her full lips in the mirror, smearing on a shiny pink gloss.
"You're so lucky Jasmine" she smacked her lips together making a loud but satisfying 'pop'. "I mean you're only sixteen, and you've found your soulmate. What's that like?"
I knew she meant well, but her comments were all but comforting right now. I thought about how to respond, I didn't wanna say anything that would sound off-putting or like a cause for concern.
"It's good" I smiled, "Calum's great"
God I really messed that up.
"Great?" She turned her body to face me instead of the mirror, raising her eyebrows slightly.
"I mean it's really great. Sorry I'm just out of it tonight. You wanna head back to the movie?" I quickly changed the subject. She nodded and put her makeup back in her purse.
I knew that Flora didn't believe me in the slightest. She was perceptive that way, and it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that something was wrong.
We left the movie theater bathroom in silence. It wasn't a comfortable one but it wasn't tense either. I stared up at Floras side profile as we walked. She was a very pretty girl. She was taller than me and slim like a model. She had long golden brown hair with a bit of a wave to it.
I'd known Flora since my freshman year, she had a bit of reputation so she didn't have many friends. She cared a lot about her appearance and how the world thought of her. And she was a hopeless romantic.
She complimented our friend group surprisingly well, and with the group consisting of Calum, Michael and Ashton, I appreciated the female company.
"Finally!" Michael whispered as we shuffled through the aisles of the theatre, making our way back to our seats.
As I sat down Calum placed his hand in mine without moving his eyes from the screen. It was like second nature. "You didn't miss a lot don't worry" he whispered.
"Cool"
My eyes traced the side of Calum's face, his full lips, messy eyebrows, and then the little mole on his left cheek.
I glanced down at my friends, their expressive faces lit up by the big screen in front of us. Every now and then Michael; sat between Flora and Calum, would whisper a joke, earning a hushed laugh or a smack on the arm from the two.
These days, it felt a lot like I was watching them from the outside. Like I was there, but I really wasn't. I never felt excluded or anything, i'd just been in my head more than anywhere else.
I thought sometimes about how I could ruin the dynamic of this whole group with only a few words. I'd say; Calum, I want to break up. And then the little world we'd built around our friend-group would crumble. Our fears becoming reality.
At first, Flora, Ashton, and Michael would try to be neutral, they'd have to spend their time with each of us separately, making sure they didn't "side" with either party. Maybe Flora would sit with me at lunch and she'd take shifts with one of the boys, switching off every other day.
But eventually it'd get old, everyone would settle in with either one of us and decide to stay. Nothing would be the same again, no matter how much effort they'd all put in.
The way things could shift in an instant; it was scary.
"Jasmine"
I looked up, Michael had leaned forward in his seat and was staring directly at me.
"Pay attention! Adam Sandler put his blood sweat and tears into this film!" He whisper-yelled, throwing a piece of popcorn in my hair.
I was glad he snapped me out of my inner sulking, when I got too into my thoughts I missed moments like that.
"You know how he feels about Adam Sandler" Calum whispered, picking the popcorn out of my hair and pulling me closer to his side with a short chuckle. My head fell onto his shoulder and a feeling of comfort spread throughout me. To me, Calum was what felt safe.
I stayed in that position the whole rest of the movie, and tried hard to pay attention.
After, Calum dropped everyone off, saving me for last like he always did, no matter how impractical that was sometimes.
"My Jasmine" he sighed out, the lights of the city dancing on his calm face. "You worry me sometimes."
"Why?"
"You feel a little bit distant some days, like you'd rather not be around with us."
It wasn't that. It could never be that.
"I'm sorry" I murmured and looked down at my hands which were shiny from the movie theater butter. "I'm just stressed out that's all. I love being with you guys."
"Promise?" He asked.
"Promise." I smiled.
"Well no matter what's going on, I wanna help. You know that."
"I do"
I rested my head in the palm of my hand and peered out at the night.
"Just talk to me alright? Whenever you need to."
"Of course."
I felt the familiar turn as we approached my neighborhood. I felt him slow down, taking his time and dragging out our night together as long as he could. I was lucky to have him.
"I know it's late but-" Calum put the car in park as we reached my house and turned to look at me, "do you think I could come in for a little? I just miss you"
"I don't know, I have makeup work for history I have to do" I sighed, "but we can just stay in the car for awhile if you want."
"Ok, that's ok" he smiled, leaning over to kiss me on the cheek.
He gently moved his hand to the side of my face and turned me towards him, bringing his lips to mine and filling me with that feeling of comfort again.
For once, as we exchanged soft kisses in my driveway, I felt like I was kissing Calum. My mind hadn't wondered, he didn't have to be someone he was not. He didn't have to be Mr.Hemmings, he was my sweet, boyish, age-appropriate lover.
And he was all I needed.
