A decision changed

Chapter 4

Two days after Palpatine's death, panic grew in the Republic since there wasn't a Chancellor to control the situation. The Senate in order to resolve the emergency, gave the command for a temporal period to Bail Organa who immediately started the negotiations with the Separatists which were concluded very quickly since Nute Gunray lacked of military experience and with Dooku, Grievous and ultimately Sidious' demise, didn't know what to do. As for me, after I was released from the hospital, I was immediately convened by the Council; I knew the reason and I was ready to face them: if they would made me choose between being a Jedi or my wife and daughter I knew what my answer would be. When I entered in the chamber, I noticed all the Masters were seated and my tension level started raising. "Everything will be fine Obi Wan assured me "Just tell them the truth without hiding anything". I smiled to my former Master and best friend, grateful for his support. "What happened in the past days" Master Yoda started "very important for the Galaxy is. Thanks to you Anakin, the Sith are no more and grateful are we for your actions". "We have been blind for all this time" Master Windu added "and we almost gave the Republic to Sidious. If it wasn't for you, young Skywalker I hate to think about what might have happened". "I can tell you exactly what might have happened" I replied "I had a vision which showed me what would have happened if Palpatine survived and I was at the center of it all" I concluded looking down at the floor. "Perhaps you need to start at the beginning, Anakin" Obi Wan suggested "This is all very...extraordinary". I nodded, knowing Obi Wan was right as always "I know it is" I approved "And in order to let you understand it, I will start from the day we rescued the Chancellor". I paused for a moment to collect my thoughts "That day" I started smiling at the memory "Was the happiest day of my life because I discovered I would soon became a father" You are telling us" Master Windu interrupted me with an astonished look on his face "That senator Amidala his pregnant? That you are expecting a baby?". "Yes" I admitted "I was as shocked as you when Padme told me". Hearing my admission made the Masters's shock increased even more than before. Obi Wan, who wasn't as astonished as the others probably because he knew I had a crush for Padmè since I was a child, was the first to speak again "How long have you been married?" he asked me "More than three years" I answered "we were married shortly after the war began". "You knew however" Windu started again "that you would have disobeyed the Code". I sighed at this statement "I knew I would have broken the rules and at the beginning, we tried to control our emotions but it was useless, we were meant to be together; judge me if you will, but know that my life without Padmè would be meaningless". Yoda nodded in understanding "Continue, Anakin" he said. I turned towards him again "You will remember I came to you Master Yoda to ask you advice about dreams I'd been having". The ancient Master nodded again "Dreams of losing someone close to you" he remembered. "It was Padmè that I was dreaming about" I continued "I these dreams, I saw Padmè dying in childbirth; I was so desperate to save her that I was willing to whatever I could to save her. The Chancellor knew about both my wedding and dreams and told me the legend of Darth Plagueis: he wanted me to understand the Dark Side was the only way to save my wife from death. In the vision" I stopped again to control my emotions "I must have believed him and when Master Windu was about to kill him, I stopped him and let Palpatine kill him; after that, thinking I had no place to go since I helped Sidious murdering Master Windu I.....I turned to the Dark Side", I concluded looking to the floor in shame and when I looked up again, I saw Master Windu staring me with a pained expression on his face "So you let Sidious kill me" he simply said "I've always knew that you and I didn't get along but I didn't expect you to betray me in this way" he concluded unable to face me. I truly wanted to reject this scenario but I couldn't since the Darkness inside my heart was real; without knowing what to say in selfe defence, I remained in silence, tears forming in my eyes "After I swore my loyalty to him" I continued "Sidious sent me to our home with a patrol of Clones to..." "For what?" Obi Wan asked me with a trembling voice "To kill all the Jedi in it, even the youglings. And, I did it" I added as I started crying like a baby "I killed all the Jedi in the Temple. As this went through, Palpatine gave to all the Clone Commanders a codified order: the order... of killing their generals". A deadly silence fell in the chamber as all the Jedi Masters tried to digest how an Order which had lasted for thousand generations might have been wiped out, rendered extinct by the orders of one man. "Only two Jedi survived the carnage" I continued "You Master Yoda and you, Obi Wan. You started looking for me and finally, you found me in a volcanic world where Sidious sent me for a mission". "You are telling me" Obi Wan said trembling with emotion "That we fought you and me?". I didn't need to be Force sensitive to feel my former Master's pain. I lowered my head again in shame "Yes" I answered "We did it but not before I Force-chocked Padmè, who came there too in order to turn me back; when I saw you with her I thought she had brought you with her to kill me and without hesitation, I made her pay for her betrayal. Our battle was a long one and it was concluded on a lava river's shore: you jumped on the shore first giving me an ultimatum. I didn't listen to you and as I jumped, with a stroke you hit me under my knees and left elbow severing both my legs and flesh arm; in few seconds, I was consumed by flames since I was to near to the lava river". I silenced again trying to expel the horrific scenario from my mind but it was useless since by fall in Darkness started when I slaughtered the Sand People after my mother's death. Looking up again I was astonished to see tears rolling on Obi Wan's cheeks and I felt he was heart- broken not only for the Jedi but also for both me and Padmè; I was really shocked by the compassion he was showing for me: it was like he had understood the tragic irony of my story, how in order to save the one I loved I didn't hesitate to turn my back on all I had believed and as a result I lost everything, even the one I wanted to save. After what seemed like an eternity, Mace Windu forced himself to speak "You saw these events with your own eyes?" he asked me "Did you experience them in first person?" ."No" I answered "I saw them in the memory of another person: Darth Vader, Sidious' apprentice and Obi Wan Kenobi's former Padawan. He went on doing his Master's bidding without knowing his daughter wasn't dead as he had always thought". "What do you mean he didn't know his daughter had survived?" Obi Wan asked me in a shocked voice. I sighed hating to tell how Palpatine had manipulated me till the end but I had no choice "After our duel in the volcanic world, Sidious saved me and made me wear a black suit with a mask which helped me to breath. When I asked him about Padmè, he told me in my anger I killed her when in reality, she had lived long enough to let my daughter coming out from her "Seems there is no end to Palpatine's perversities" Obi Wan bitterly commented. I nodded "You are right about this Master", I agreed "but this doesn't justify the atrocities I committed as Darth Vader; when I spoke with him in the vision, I realized he was the embodiment of Darkness. I can't imagine what other crimes he committed apart from torturing his own daughter, destroying the planet where she was raised and killing his former Master". "You mean, that you killed me Anakin?" Obi Wan asked me pain reflected on his eyes. Again, I didn't know what to say in self-defence and looked down in shame "Not me" I finally corrected him "Vader did; he was the monster Sidious created with his lies. However, if it wasn't for him, you all would be dead". "What do you mean?" Mace Windu asked "It was Vader who told me who had to die in the Chancellor's office" I replied "In the vision, he had realized Palpatine's true nature and he wasn't going to leave me until I had accepted Sidious was the one who had to die". "And you just did that" Master Windu pointed out "I suppose Palpatine didn't manage to completely destroy the good man you once were" he added in an happier tone. "Yes" I admitted "It seems like a tiny part of me still existed inside Vader". I closed my eyes focusing on Vader's face allowing the Jedi Masters to see it in the Force; I heard a gasp and when I reopened my eyes, I saw Obi Wan crying again devastated by what I would have become if I hadn't listened Vader and Master Yoda and Windu watching me, sorrow on their eyes. "I will go home now to see if my wife is fine" I finally announced "I know you have a decision about me to make. I know I broke the Code and I know the punishment is expulsion but know this: if you ask me to choose between being a Jedi and being a father and husband, I will choose the second option without hesitation". After I made a bow to the Masters, I went out knowing it could be the last time I did so.