Iridescent ¤ Millard Nullings

¤ 8 ¤

Happiness is just a wavering illusion.

For Millard, happiness was found in his works, artwork, reading, and anything else the rest of the peculiars would call boring. For Laina, happiness was colors, life, nature, and the beauty and freedom of the world. Yet, what if you take those away?

Millard could stay put in one place, learning about whatever, drawn in by the minuscule details. Laina knew of a whole world, and wanted to see it all. To stay too long is a death sentence.

But the world she was stuck in was perfect. But, repeating, over and over. Yet, it was warm, and had butterflies and bees and flowers and life and soul. Even when those things come day after day.

She wasn't angry at Millard, per se. She didn't like his habits of snooping, and maybe his inability to let his mind wander bothers her. But this was one of the first times in her life that she was confused, feeling a feeling she hadn't felt often at all. To say she liked a boy was something foreign. She had seen guys and girls she thought were very attractive, but she could feel nothing, truly, for their looks, but for their soul. Never was she able to settle down anywhere long enough to decide whether or not she liked a person, she fled too often to say so.

But Millard was like her, and he could understand her differences. She always felt the need to hide her peculiarity, but it wasn't because she was ashamed of it. She had heard horror stories of peculiars in her day in age, where they were taken in and experimented on, trying to recreate their abilities for another normal person.

Laina scuffed her boots into the forest dirt as she wrinkled her brow in thought. She fiddled with her long, ginger hair, braiding it over and over again. She eventually settled down at her favorite spot by the water, staring at her reflection in the ripples.

Did she ever stop and look around in her life? Sure, she may have stopped to admire a beautiful sunset, or to breathe in mountain air, but did she stop to think? To think of what she wanted out of life, instead of just living it?

Never was there any certainty in her life before Cairnholm. Never was there a destination. She lived on the whim, and while she lived starving and lonely, she lived freely. It was life without life.

She was free, yet only from anyone telling her what to do, or free from a certain standard society gave. What would she have outside the loop that she wouldn't have inside? She would grow achy and old, and maybe never find anyone to get close to. She had no family, and wasn't ever near another human mind. She always knew her heart was weighed down by something, yet she could never place what it was. She grew to enjoy these people, this fine group of peculiars.

They had wonders of the world, yet they remained in one. They created life within their unwavering time. Each child had soul, and purpose, and meaning. And what more of a mother could you want? Miss Peregrine could top them all, even if her children were not bred from herself. Laina had a magical world full of life, so why would she stray from it?

Perhaps Laina had made her decision sitting in the pool of water, perhaps she had only sympathized for herself. Perhaps Millard had fallen in love with her, as he silently watched her. He knew it was wrong, and he didn't want to persuade her to stay, but there was so much to know from her. She was a girl who was spontaneous yet still grounded, and what more could a boy want in this stolid world?

"You don't have to hide from me, I'm not angry." Laina spoke out, facing the opposite direction from where he was. 

Millard scrunched his invisible brow. "How did you know I was here?"

Laina jumped a bit, the stood up from the stream, going over to the set of clothes. "Well, I didn't really, I just figured you'd be here at some point."

"Oh," Millard chuckled, "Well then you have excellent intuition."

Laina gave a short laugh, then fell silent, staring at her hands. The trickle of the water behind her was the only sound between the two. It was awkward, but at least it was peaceful.

"I'm not mad, Millard." She started, not sure where to finish.

"I just came to say I was sorry, Laina, I didn't expect that to happen." He spoke, making sure he cleared that up first.

She smiled at his words, then beckoned him to follow. "I don't blame you really. I'm sure if I were permanently invisible I would snoop just the same."

Millard cringed at the word 'snoop'. It wasn't necessarily what he wanted to achieve. Though, he didn't really know what he was doing other than snooping. It was just that he hadn't seen anyone interact with all of the peculiars as she did. She could be pals with Emma, then be so caring for the smaller girls. Laina worked well with the boys, even if they did questionable things. She even could stand the most unbearable one of them, and Enoch seemed to think highly of her as well.

"I-I didn't mean to snoop, I was just...observing."

"Observing what, exactly?

Millard fell quiet in thought, not wanting to spill out his feelings too much and make her want to leave.

"I was just observing as I always have in my studies. Observing life and beauty."

Laina nodded, and Millard continued.

"I've just...I've never seen anyone be as kind and friendly toward everyone. You truly do get along with anyone, and it is extraordinary. I genuinely don't know how you tolerate Enoch."

This made Laina laugh and as her shoulder hit his, their hands brushed together and she felt him freeze. So of course she took his hand in hers. It was a bold move for anyone else, and anyone else would have been too scared. But she was not just anyone else, and she was proving it over and over to Millard.