Me After You

The End For Us

"Let's go home," Pat called Lee.

Both of us was very drunk and wasted. This was the first time I had a drink and be wasted like this.

"Give me five more minutes then let's go home," Lee said and sat down.

"Are you still okay? Can you still manage?" Giner asked.

"Of course, Coach," Lee answered and smiled.

"Okay then,"

"I just want to end this, I don't want to feel burden starting tomorrow. Ali, I just want to end this feeling I have, I just want to clarify what's inside this," He pointed his mind. "And what I have for you inside this," He added and punched his chest where his heart is located.

He started crying, the tears of sadness and pain, I can see and feel it. My heart is aching seeing him like this.

" Thank you," He started.

"Thank you for being my inspiration, the sun for us has already set. The bright light from the sun has already been covered with darkness, the moon shined bright, A sign of Goodnight and Goodbyes for us, You were like a sun to me, you light up my day for 12 hours and made it productive, but the light that you gave me suddenly covered with clouds, the rain poured very hard just like the feelings I have, the rain started pouring and I am there standing watching and feeling it flowing down to my body, the cold water woke me up from the darkest dream, it woke me up that YOU and ME will never come, that you belongs to someone else while I belong to no-one." He said.

" Lee, I'm sorry, I'm sorry that you felt this way, I'm sorry that I hurt you, " I said.

He smiled, the smile that I was waiting for, but why do I feel hurt even though he is smiling? I don't feel happy seeing him smiling like that?

" Don't be sorry, it's not your fault that you cannot repay my love, it's not your fault that I fell in love and most of all, it will never be your fault, the problem is not you it's me, and my stupidity." He replied

No words can't explain how hurt I am right now, No words can explain the pain I have inside my heart. I know I have something for Lee but I cannot say it out loud.

He stood up in front of me.

" Can I hug you, for the last time? " He said, I stood up and hugged him tightly, My heart started beating fast, I don't know if he can feel nor hear it.

He cried, his crying out loud. He took a deep breath and released the hug.

"Now, finally, I can set you free, I can now set myself free," He said and finally walked out.

He walked out from the door not even glancing at me As he slowly fades in front of me, the tears that I was holding suddenly came out from my eyes.

"You can go home now, take care of Lee," I said to his friends.

"No, bro, Lee has Pat, Helen and Athena, we'll stay here, besides, Rommel won't leave Lee right now," Rj answered.

Rommel, Rommel, How many times do I need to hear that stupid name.

Instead of answering I just nodded, tears flow down to my face just like a broken faucet.

" Now you can say everything to us, we already heard Lee's side and now it's your turn to share yours," Ej said.

I took a deep breath before speaking.

" I think I love him as well, I just can't say it because I'm scared, scared for what the society might think about us, "

" Why?"

"Because we are leaving in a world full of judgement, everyone will judge me and Lee, everyone will hurt me, hurt Lee not only by words but also by their actions," I explained.

" Is that why you are scared of giving him a chance?" Giner asked.

"Not only that but also I don't know what to do or to feel, I know from the start, I already have something special for him, I knew it because every time I see him, my heart starts beating fast,  just by seeing him makes me happy, he makes my day complete if I am his source of happiness then he is my source of strength,"

"Why you didn't tell him earlier?"

"Because I'm scared, I'm scared to accept myself for what I am right now, I am scared that everyone might think that I am just using him,"

"Bro, that's not it, that's not loving, why? Because if you love him just like the way he loves you, you will never be afraid or scared, I think you just liked him because he liked you, and that's wrong, you should Like him because you do like him, do not force yourself to like him if you don't and if you can't, you know why? Because at the end of the day you will hurt not only Lee but also yourself, the first thing you need to do is to accept yourself, love yourself before anyone else," Rj explained.

"What if the time comes that I already accepted him and he is no longer into me? what will I do?" I asked

" That we can not answer, because if he loves you he will stay and if you love him you will do everything just for him, fall in love when you are ready, not when you are sad,"He said.

His words woke me up, his words provided me light and he is right. The first thing I need to do is to accept myself because no one will accept me if I won't be able to accept myself.

We went home, my eyes are already numb.