Ducktales: Journey to Agartha - Act 3

Chapter 26: Heidi The Hoe

"Thanks for coming to get breakfast with me, Glo! I promise you won't be disappointed with the food. I've been here a ton." She threw her arms out to emphasize her point. "I'm guessing you have a pretty bad hangover too. The coffee here works like a charm."

The two were sitting at a small table in a local restaurant known as First Watch. Based on Heidi's claims, it had a 5 star rating on Yelp.

"God I hope so. I drank so much I don't even remember all of what I drank. God damn. The rave was fun as hell from what I remember. Thanks for inviting me." Yep as you might expect, Gloria had a pretty bad hangover and she felt like utter shit.

"It's no prob. My pals didn't really want to come, and it gets boring eating here alone. Usually old farts invite themselves to eat with me." She scowled. Mainly because the ones that did were total losers. Very rarely would a good looking, successful man, sit with her.

A waitress came by to drop off coffee before announcing she would be back shortly to take their orders.

"Old farts inviting themselves over to eat with you? How come?"

She laughed. "Because I'm hot. Duh." She gestured to her outfit, curves, and heavy eyeliner. "You act like that hasn't happened to you before."

Gloria shook her head "No, can't say that it has. Florida is full of only two types of guys: old and crazy." She made a number two gesture to show her point.

"You got that right, boo." Heidi started drinking her coffee. No cream. No sugar. Just black, like the crazy bitch she was. She liked to think she enjoyed tastes that matched her personality. Bitter.

"So did you grow up in Tampa or something? Or did you move here with your motorcycle gang?"

Heidi had already chugged down her entire mug of coffee and was desperately waiting for another. The waitress saying she would be back shortly was a load of bullshit. "Nah. I grew up on a small farm in South Dakota with my ma. I came down here on my own before meeting my gang. Honestly, I came down here for sugar daddies but that hasn't been working out too well." She laughed. "I told you that last night but I don't think you remember. It doesn't matter. I gave up on that plan."

That last part was a fucking lie.

Gloria laughed "It hasn't been working out? Dude there are crazy old Florida men everywhere I don't get it. If that's what you wanna do with your life man, no judgement here by the way. Get yo' self a sugar daddy." Gloria was wondering why Heidi didn't just become Jimmy Buffett's sugar baby but she didn't ask. It might've been too personal.

"No no. You don't get how the game works. Most men down here are looking for a girl to last a few months before they ditch town and move to Orlando or New Orleans or what have you. The money doesn't last and gets harder and harder to find a sugar daddy when your name gets out there. The men start thinking you aren't loyal, ya know? It ain't my fault everyone ditches me but people like to twist the

story." Heidi decided to change the subject. "What about you? Where did you grow up?"

"I grew up in Utah of all places! Fucking hated it. Utah is dry as hell with super hot summers and winters with ice roads and snow. Plus there are a lot of mormons. They're not so bad. They're very nice people but I can't help but make fun of them."

"You'd be surprised how many Mormons visit Tampa. A group comes down about once a year or so." The waitress finally came by with more coffee and took their orders before Heidi continued. "No offense, but I fucking hate Utah. I drove through it a few months back when I spent a week in Duckburg with my gang. That city is pretty shit too if you ask me. I mean, god, a dictator took over or something when I showed up. The fuck is up with that place?"