Across the Maps

Chapter 22

His lips are warm and soft. We stand there for a few seconds, our mouths touching. But I pull apart.

"I'm sorry Jeremy, but I can't. I can't do this," I say, my voice unsteady and shaky. "I'm sorry, but I just can't."

I open the door and rush outside into the car, tears streaming down my face. Dad stares at me but doesn't say anything and I'm grateful.

He pulls out of the car and drives away. The ride home I stay quiet, gazing out the window. The world seems as if it's going in slow motion, never speeding up.

When we get home, I bolt upstairs and into my room, shutting and locking my door. I lean up against the door, pulling my legs against my chest. And slowly, I start to sob, tears streaking my face.

For hours I stay in that position, sobbing ragged cries.

"Wimberly," I hear a deep voice, Cole's voice.

"What," my voice is ragged and pathetic.

"Are you okay?" He asks.

"I'm fine," I lie.

"Are you sure?" He questions, concerned.

"I'm fine," I repeat, my voice harsher and louder.

"If there's anything you want to tell me then-"

"Just go away," I shout at the top of my lungs. He doesn't reply. I hear the noise of his shoes as he treads away and I'm glad he's gone.

I don't move until it's bedtime. And when it is, I don't bother to change. My movements feel slow and robotic like.

I lay on the bed, recalling the day's events. We stood in his hallway and I was about to leave, my hand on the cool metal door knob. But as I was about to pull the door open, he stopped me, his hand brushing over mine.

"I had a really great time today," he said, his voice happy.

"Me too. We should do it again." I replied.

"Yes we should," he exclaimed. "And Wimberly."

"What?" I asked.

"I really like you." When he said that my head started to spin. He liked me. How did I not know that. Am I really that oblivious?

Then he kissed me, his lips warm and soft. I stood there stunned. A little voice in my head kept saying this isn't right. I pulled away.

I rub my head confused. Why did I pull away? I ask myself. Why?

The rest of the weekend goes by in a daze, all blurry like a clouded mirror. But then the week starts and I dread having to see Jeremy.

I feel bad for pulling away and rushing out on him, but kissing him just didn't feel right.

As I walk up to the school, Cole beside me, I someone bumps into me, making my lose my footing, my backpack and books falling to the ground.

"I'm sorry," I hear a voice say. I turn around and see Jeremy.

He instantly freezes the moment we lock eyes, his body stiff and his eyes nervous.

"It's okay," I murmur, picking up my stuff and walking away.

"Wait," Jeremy exclaims. "Can I talk to you?"

I turn my head slightly and I see Cole, a scowl covering his face.

"Um..." I hesitate.

"Please," he pleads, his eyes begging.

"Okay fine," I murmur. "Cole I'll be back in a sec." He nods hesitantly and we walk away.

"I wanted to say I'm sorry. You know. For kissing you. I know it was wrong, but-"

"It's okay. But just know we're just friends."

He stands there silent, his expression sad. "Yeah," he says, his voice heavy. "Okay. Just friends."

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