A letter to Uenoyama || Given

The song

Uenoyama's POV

After Hiiragi asked me to be the backing guitar player for his band, I realised many things; first, even if we don't get along at all, our musical vision was pretty similar; second, Mafuyu and him were ridiculously close, more than I've ever imagined at first; and third, it seems that no one could let that person go yet, the person who was a big part of their lives for many years. And it was understandable and logic, however, not letting him go was painful for everybody, me included, and I didn't even meet him. 

Not so long ago I discovered that I had feelings for Mafuyu. At first it was extremely weird and I wanted to justify my behaviour towards him as if I just wanted him to improve in playing the guitar, but it was a very stupid excuse. Kaji-san was right; it was pretty obvious that it wasn't just that, but I wanted to be with him all the time, I wanted to see him, I wanted to listen to him, I wanted to graze the back of his hand with mine while we were walking, although thinking about taking his hand was still weird for me.

So many things happened, and even if we were in a relationship for many months, every day I discovered something new about myself. I'm not the same person that I used to be before I met Mafuyu, don't even talk about how much I'd changed now that I can calmly accept that I love him. I haven't told him yet, but we know what we feel for each other.

If I'm saying all of this, it's because I found myself in a very complicated situation I never thought I'd live: Hiiragi asked me to finish one song he'd never showed me before. Until now, every song we've rehearsed has been of his own creation, but this time was different.

"I want you to complete and play this song with us", Hiiragi told me that day.

"What song?", I asked.

After a long pause, he said: "...it's from when Yuki was our vocalist". 

In that moment I went blank.

"Yuki", I said to myself. "Yuki... Mafuyu's late friend... Mafuyu's ex boyfriend".

Hiiragi only asked me to do it because that way he could continue creating music in peace. I don't even know why I accepted, but I did it and it was too bad for me.

When I told my sister, she said that if I wanted to complete someone's song, who wasn't obviously me, I had to understand that person better than anyone else, so from that day when Hiiragi asked me that, I haven't done anything but trying to figure out "who" Yuki was, or rather, "what"  Yuki represented.