Spencer Reid One Shots

Goner

Possible TW: hospital, mental illness, self harm/suicide

Spencer's hand was over yours. He sat beside you while you laid in your hospital bed. Tubes and lines were scattered all over the place, connected to your body all over the place. He laid his head beside your body on the bed, you soon felt his tears sink into the mattress. He was too late to save you. He had found you in the bathroom, unresponsive. You had been battling depression for the longest time and Spencer had really helped you get by, but he had been gone for weeks. You didn't think he was coming back, as he wasn't responding to your calls. You felt the relapse coming, so you called him over and over again. But, the pain was unbearable. So you did what you thought was right.

You soon realized it wasn't. You heard him kick down the door and fall to the ground, screaming out your name. But, you couldn't respond. You were brain dead, gone. He never got to say goodbye. True love hurts, but this was going to kill him in the end. You wish you could take it all back, seeing him like this. You tried screaming out, but nothing came from your lifeless body.

"Dr. Reid?"

He sat up slowly, wiping the tears from his eyes.

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry but she's gone. You have to sign this so we can pull the plug."

"No! I'm not! She's going to be okay!" He pushed his fist down into the mattress, causing your body to move.

"I will just set these here, sir. I apologize for bothering you."

Spencer put his head back down, holding his arm over your torso.

It reminded you of when you first kicked it off, years back. You had met him at a bar when he was on a case. His colleague, Derek Morgan, pushed him into you purposefully to get him to flirt. He was really bad at it, but you liked awkward guys. It was your type. He kept messing with his hair and fidgeting. You had just made a move and kissed him lightly. He was shocked, but he took you out on a date the next day and you had been together ever since. It was the best seven months of your life, but your illness took over.

You had been so mad. Why? Why did you do this? You're so stupid. You lost your battle, that Spencer had always told you you would win. He wouldn't let you lose. But, he was wrong.

You felt another presence in the room and see Penelope. She had ran over to Spencer and held him in her arms as he wept. You had never seen Spencer so sad. You wanted to pull out. You weren't strong enough.

"Spence, I'm so sorry. I wish I could change everything."  Her soft words cooed in his ear, but only caused him to cry more.

The whole room was now full with all of his colleagues. You had hoped they would all pull him out of this slump. But, it was going to take him a long time. You had caused all this damage, you had seen the looks of everyone. You had been close friends with the BAU. Every single one of them had a sad face, trying to keep their cool for him. They wanted to console him, but they needed consoling as well.

"Spencer, it's time." JJ put her hand on his shoulder.

He looked up with bloodshot eyes, nodding slightly as he sniffled. He looked over to the papers. Derek handed them to him, and he signed his name at the bottom. The doctor came in and took the paper.

He began to take all the wires out of your body, unplugging your oxygen machine, taking the tube from your throat. Your body was forever limp. You were lost in the darkness, and you couldn't believe what you had done. It might have been the worst mistake of your life.