Shrek x Peppa, Die-light

Vegan Studies

It was a cold, foggy day. Perpentina Bacon Jr of the Jr of the Jr (or just Peppa as her friends called her), was walking to her matte orange car, the keys jangling in her three-fingered hands as they did.

"Bleep, bleep!" The car went. 

Peppa sat down into the car, her back pressing into the car's comfy seats.

She put on her seatbelt, scrolled through the available radio stations, and turned up KidzBop.

On the KidzBop radio currently was 6ix9ine.

"Are you cool, dope, or cool, huh?" The infants' voices rang.

Peppa's like for 6ix9ine was one of a kind. Even if that meant dying her hair to look like a Skittle pack just to look like him

*This is not an advert for Skittles. Skittles are not sponsoring me.*

Even though Peppa had no hair, and looked pretty bald, she would purchase herself a wig, and make herself look as 6ix9ine-y as possible.

However, last time she did this, her ex boyfriend Danny Dog started gate-keeping 6ix9ine, and would only let her speak any mention of it if she bought him some V-Bucks. 

Instead, Peppa bought him Robux.

She escaped, almost bacon.

Now, everytime they crossed in the corridors, Peppa would turn her head, and Danny Dog growled at her.

She tried a threatening "oink" back at him, but he wouldn't hear of it.

She entered her University, carrying all her Vegan Studies books and Vegetables everywhere, in case she passed a wild Jorobe and had to lecture him on being vegan.

Jorobes weren't rare. Peppa always thought they were right, and she longed to become one of them, but her parents forbid her. Now she saw the joy in being vegan, and didn't have to be chased round by Satan in hell if she didn't.

Twenty years ago, both candidates ran for the election. Jorobe won, but thatveganteacher didn't. She had a riot. It ended up with two presidents, and the citizens could believe who they wanted was president.

Peppa's parents thought it was thatveganteacher, but Suzy Sheep's thought it was Jorobe. Their parents forbid them from seeing each other, so it ended up like Romeo and Juliet.

Only with a lesbian couple.

The bell SHRIEKED. 'Twas time.

Peppa bolted up the stairs, the fog now clearing up outside and letting in a beautiful sunshine that shone through the building. Peppa felt like the main character.

She ran on the marble flooring, and darted to the VS-KKD.

Miss Kadie Karen Diekmeyer (yes that's her real name) opened the door and glared at her. Peppa swore she could see her lick her lips.

"Ah, Peppa." She pushed her glasses higher up her nose. "Lovely to see you..."

Karen sat down in a green spinny-chair, tapping some keys on her keyboard.

Peppa sat down in one of the chairs, taking out her books and laying them out on the desk in front of her.

"You're the first one here..." Karen grinned. "Have you finished yesterday's homework?"

"Yes." Peppa nodded, taking out a piece of paper.

"What vegan celebrity did you write about?"

"I did, um, Billie Eilish." Peppa gave Karen the sheet.

"Ah, Billy Ellish." Karen nodded. "I like his song... what was it called... bury a non vegan! Very good song."

"Oh actually she's-"

"Ah- no talking in my lesson!" Karen clasped a finger to her lips, before clicking some things on the computer and turning the projector on. "Oop! Here's some more students."

Rebecca Rabbit, Freddie Fox, Stonks man, and some others entered the classroom. Stonks man sat next to Peppa and looked at her like :0, before saying "stonks" with a google translate style voice.

"I swear you said you weren't vegan!" Peppa exclaimed.

"...Stonks."  

Peppa groaned, before turning her focus to the board.

"Hello, students." Karen smiled. "Today we will be learning about how stupid Jorobe is!"

The class looked at each other, smirking.

Peppa felt bad for Jorobe. You can't force being vegan on everyone.

"Look at this!" Karen screamed.

She (unsuccessfully) tried following a link she'd attached earlier, and started swearing at the computer.

"Um... darn you, computer!" She groaned. "Class dismissed. Homework is to try to find proof that Jorobe should be banned from TikTok."

Another bell rang, and Peppa tossed her things inside her backpack. 

She'd come to a decision.

When everyone had left the classroom, Peppa took out a biro and went up to the Vegan Studies sign up sheet and crossed her name off.

She was going to believe what she wanted to believe.

Karen was going to kill her. But now she'd be loved and accepted by Jorobe, who would've accepted her anyway.

This was a new Peppa.

Noah Neck ran into her. "Oh, hey, baby girl."

"Hi." Peppa whispered, before sticking her hand in her pocket and making her way into the cafeteria.

"Want me to buy you something?"

"Buy yourself some deodorant. Now leave me alone."

He rubbed his wide neck and sighed, turning away from Peppa and walking the opposite direction.

"That guy doesn't deserve you."