imagine that | harry potter imagines

Vulnerable Love | Draco Malfoy x Fem!Reader

Vulnerable Love 

Description: Draco looks for the reader in the aftermath of the Battle of Hogwarts for @psychogolbrock (hope this is what you wanted) :)

Warnings: Death (not me writing the description vaguely as to avoid spoilers like i wasn't gonna go and spoil it in the warnings 👁👄👁 ) this is legit sheer angst you have been warned

edit : i didn't mean to but i wrote good enough  like months after this one but somehow it works really well as a prequel... might make it hurt more though

....

There is no big celebration, no victory cheers or rounds of applause to mark the end of the battle. Harry's wand is lowered and the enemy is gone, but so are the castle walls, so are the childhoods of all the students who fought and so are the lives of so many friends and family. The end of the battle isn't much more than a shift in priorities from the living to the dead.

Now that the fighting has stopped, the heart breaking reality settles across the castle grounds. Where there moments ago had been the deafening sound of curses flying through the air and various war cries, is now an eerie quiet, filled only by the whimpers of grieving families and the occasion desperate call of a missing person's name.

Draco tries not to look at any of these families as he makes his way across the courtyard. His last minute defection has kept him out of Azkaban, but it certainly hasn't awarded him people's good opinion and people glare at him as he passes. He's not even sure where he's going, not sure where to start to find her without becoming one of the anguished name callers.

He's about to start asking people if they've seen her when his eyes find a crowd gathered around what used to be an alcove and his heart jumps in his chest painfully. His legs drag him forward on their own accord, his body taken over by a sudden panic as his mind pleads for it not to be her.

As he gets closer, he can hear people crying, a broken melody of shaky breath and chocked sobs. People clench their jaws as he tries to gently push through the crowd, his own breath becoming ragged with the fear of whoever's body he's about to face. A few, more sympathetic, people move out of his way and allow him through and he soon stumbles through the last row of observers.

"Malfoy..."

The voice is quiet and strangled by tears but one he knows well as Hermione Granger's, although he can't lift his eyes to check. His eyes are stuck on the lifeless figure who's head she's cradling on her lap, face bloodied and bruised but so familiar to him that he's beginning to tremble. He feels winded, as if someone has punched every last breath form his lungs and he's left teetering on his feet as he's smacked with an overwhelming burst of emotions.

"(Y/N)."

Her name comes out in splinters, shattered under the grief that seems to pull at every nerve in his body. He doesn't care now ,about the eyes on him as he lowers himself onto his knees before Hermione, he doesn't care what they think as he reaches out with trembling limbs for (Y/N)'s body, he doesn't care that they can see him cry. It doesn't matter, not right now.

"She- she was healing someone's wounds." Hermione voice cracks. "She was hit by a stray curse."

Draco doesn't reply, he doesn't even look up. Hermione allows him to pull (Y/N) into his arms, a fresh set of tears trickling down her cheeks as she watches him gently push (Y/N)'s hair from her eyes. Hermione doesn't know what to say, 'sorry' doesn't quite cover it these days.

Some people will tell you that the only times they've ever seen Draco Malfoy genuinely smile, was at (Y/N) (Y/L/N). No one could possibly doubt their affection for each other, when it was so obvious in how they interacted, with love sick glances and whispered secrets that made them smile.

To Draco, she was his courage when he had none. She was never afraid of what people would think of her for being with him, head never turned by the outlandish rumours about him. In sixth year, she kept him together when he was falling apart under the weight of an unimaginable task, unjudging and sympathetic.

He wishes he could have some of her courage now, as he holds her in his arms, completely and utterly terrified. Her face is becoming blurred through tears and each silent sob feels like it's ripping him apart. Blinking away another bout of tears, he looks up to Hermione, mouth opening with no sound for a second until he's sure his voice won't break.

"Has someone told her parent's?" He manages, voice hoarse from crying. "They need to know."

"I-I sent someone for them." Hermione nods. "I know it doesn't help... but she died h-honourably."

"She shouldn't have died."

The statement isn't angry or harsh, but tragically honest. Hermione nods, turning her head slightly and lifting her hand to her mouth to capture a sob, that instead comes out as a muffled groan. Draco turns back to (Y/N), and if it weren't for the stillness of her chest that would normally rise with each breath, he could imagine she's sleeping, with her eyes shut and an almost peaceful expression on her face.

He leans down slowly to press his lips gently to her forehead. She's cool to his touch, a reminder once again that she's not just sleeping, that this is her permanent state from here on, and he's caught with another painful sob.

"You didn't deserve this." His voice trembles. "I'm sorry."

People were always saying that she made him soft, and in a way, she did. To be in love is to be vulnerable, to give your love to someone willingly and to let them have such a fragile part of you. It's exciting, the thrill of being in love with someone, and to be loved by someone, is a beautiful experience.

There are two sides to this vulnerability though, one that Draco is beginning to think out weighs the excitement of loving someone. Draco is suddenly experiencing the painful side of love, the consequences of giving his heart to something as fragile as another person.

"I love you." He whispers hoarsely. "I love you so much and I'm so sorry."

He clutches her closer, too scared to let her go knowing he'll never have her back in his arms again. He can't cope with the finality of this situation, he longs to feel the warmth of her hand in his, the feel of her arms wrapped around his middle or her lips on his cheek. He's desperate to hear her tell him she loves him again but she never will.

She's already long gone with every ounce of love he had.

....

authors note: y'all i did warn you!!!