Why does my dick swing over the cat when I'm in the kitchen

The kitchen

Yeah whatever.
it's a kitchen?
im in the kitchen, naked. duhh. I like being naked because my shlong so big I have to get 3 legged trousers.
I don't shave down there, trying to grow a tree. I heard global warming needed more bushes and trees to get rid of carbon dioxide or whateva, so Im helping.
sometimes, I fart so hard my dick swings.
dick goes woosh and my cat watches like it's a toy
you know the type of toy that you wave in front of the cat and it jumps for it? yeah my cat uses this fat mother load of a dick.
I also have a juicy, fat, dumptruck, meteorite, zonka honka, voluptuous, peach, round ass. my cat watches my dick swing and my ass cheeks rattle as I let the fart out, the cheeks of my rear end clapping like I won an award.